iFucking Hate Puberty
by Twisted Vicious
Summary: The gang goes to highschool & there's been a lot of changes. Freddie's a football player, Carly's hot property & Sam might be gay. Because highschool just wasn't confusing enough. FEMSLASH
1. How it all Began

**iFucking Hate Puberty**

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**An iCarly Cam fic. I'm not one for fanfiction, but there wasn't enough of Cam to go around. So anyways, enjoy my first fanfic! **P.S.** This story is **NC-17 **_(bow-chika-wow-wow)_. There will be A **LOT **of graphic sex. Oh and I don't own anything blah blah blah -_-

* * *

"Hey"

She whispered against my skin, as our love _(__**lust**__)_ lay in secret between layers of sweat soaked covers. The addictive feel of her drives me insane, her lips, her touch, her breath. Everything about her is perfection. And it's this perfection that's turned me into a beast.

Her once flawless alabaster skin is scattered with marks of my possession. She's mine & I make sure she knows that. Her moans grow louder as I bite further down into her skin. I love to make her bleed. I love how the red droplets coat the virgin white sheets of her bed—showing me she would never forget about us & the nights we share.

I love the way she tastes in my mouth & I love knowing that I've branded her as my own. I lick the wound I made beneath her breast while her groans further fuel my passion. I could feel her heat beneath my thigh--liquid lust intermingling with my skin. And I knew the night was just about to begin.

"Hey"

She says again—her voice hoarse with lust.

"What?" I grunted against her, feeling her smooth thighs grind against my own, while my lips stayed ever so preoccupied with the softness of her breast.

"Do you love me?" She whispers, in a tone so low, I could've sworn she didn't want me to hear her. But I did, and the question burned through my thoughts & shot out the very membranes of my brain. Everything stood still as I scaled towards her face, only to see that she was crying.

She looked away, in a feeble attempt to hide her tears. But I knew with her shaking breath that she'd been dreading this all along—the thought of exposure, hurt & rejection. I cupped her cheek to bring her face towards mine, burning the image of her misty eyes upon my already wounded soul.

"I love you Carly Shay. I've always had."

* * *

"_**SAAAMM!!!**_ Wake up, or you're gonna be late for school!!!"

Sam awoke in a sweat, clutching her racing heart in an attempt to calm it, as she quickly spun her head to view her surroundings. She was in her room—**alone**—with covers that reeked of her own scent.

"_**SAAAMMMM!!!!!"**_

"I KNOW! I KNOW! I'M AWAKE!" She screamed. Her mother could be such a pain sometimes. Who was she kidding? She was a pain _**all**_ the time. Sometimes she wishes she just moved to Florida with her dad. But then again, if she did, she would never have met Carly.

'_**Oh my God... Carly.' **_Sam thought as the night's dream began flooding her memory—_the flashes of skin, the moans, the pleas, the taste_—Every lingering detail of her best friend's naked body caressing her own. Sam looked at her iPhone & noted the date.

**January 18, 2011…the day Sam officially lost her marbles.**

* * *

'_**What the fuck was that about!!!??'**_

Sam's mind raced as she paced herself back & forth in the school quad. It was 6:40 in the morning & usually she wouldn't even be awake, much less at school at this hour but she wanted time away from her mom, her room & her thoughts. But it seems the third part is a lot harder to get away from than the first.

_I've known Carly since when? Like since elementary school! This can't be happening now. This can't be happening, __**period!**_

"Shit! Shit!"

_Though it's starting to make sense… my hatred for Freddie, why I can only be myself with Carly, why I didn't hurt her when she set me up with that doofus at the Cheesecake Warehouse. And that time I grabbed her butt during Halloween. Wait. __**Wait!**_

_Why am I even rationalizing this? I shouldn't even be thinking about her this way! She's my __**best**__ friend! Not only that, she's a freaking __**girl**__! She's my __**girl**__, __**best**__ friend!_

_Calm down Sam, calm down. Deep breaths. Deep breaths._

_It was just a dream, just a one time dream that could happen to __**anyone**__. Nothing's wrong with you, just your hormones going out of whack because of puberty. Relax. _

"_**I love you Carly Shay. I've always had."**_

"Damn it!" Sam half-yelled as she began knocking her knuckles against her scalp. "Get outa my head, get outa my head, get outa my head, get outa my head---"

"Hey… what's going on with Sam?" Jeremy whispered.

"I don't think I even want to know" Gibby said back, as the pair stood entranced at a bench in the quad.

"Do you… do you think she'll see us?" Jeremy says fearfully.

"I have no idea" Gibby says, eyes still locked onto Sam who was presently bashing her head against a tree.

"Maybe… maybe we should leave. I don't think she'll be very happy if she sees us" He says & Gibby nods his head.

But none of them move.

The image of the reputable hard-core, in-your-face Ridgeway High student repeatedly hitting her head in frustration was a sight to behold. I mean, what could possibly trouble Sam? She's a freaking rock. A rock she'll throw in your face later on, but a rock none-the-less.

"_**Achooo!!!"**_

Sam's internal reverie was cut short by a very disgusting & very familiar sneeze. She cocked her head to the side to see no one but 'Germy' & Gibby's frozen faces.

"How long have you dweebs been there?"

"Uhh… Um, not tha-he just—he couldn't…" They stumbled incoherently—pointing at each other as though it was either of them was the culprit.

"Let me ask you again. How. Long. Have. You. Been. There." Sam said through her teeth, unbridled anger apparent in her eyes.

"Justwhenyouwherehittingyourselfrepeatedly" Jeremy squealed, while Gibby looked at him with a mixture of shock & disgust in his face.

"You shouldn't have said that! Now where in—"

"AAAHHHHH!!!!!"

Gibby's monologue was cut short by a raging Sam, who had her hands outstretched, ready to strangle either one of them. The pair ran off with utmost panic in their faces, while Sam followed close behind, screaming:

"_**I'm going to kill you!"**_

…Repeatedly & quite loudly for that matter.

* * *

The bell rings & Ridgeway High students flock the halls towards their 1st period classes. A jumble of hormone driven teens crowd the walkways & one of them spot a comically tragic pair stuffed into a second floor trashcan.

"Gibby?" Freddie asks incredulously, looking at his middle school pal knee deep in garbage.

"What happened?"

Gibby looks up & spits out a half-eaten apple Sam had graciously put in his mouth. Freddie was standing there, clothed with his letter jacket with a Jansport back-pack half slung on his shoulder. He doesn't know why Freddie still talks to him. Gibby was stuck in the Video club while Freddie got into the football team freshman year. It turns out the boy could kick a pig-skin 45 yards away.

"Sam happened" He tells him & Freddie just nods his head in understanding.

"Do I even want to know?"

Gibby looks at Jeremy who was knocked out beside him, the guy had a black eye & a bloody nose to boot.

"I don't think so"

"…Yeah, I don't think I do either. C'mon" Freddie says as he lends Gibby a hand. Though it seemed useless as one of Freddie's passing football buddies pushed Gibby back into the trash can.

"Hahaha! Fucking loser!" He chimed as he walked away. Freddie just shook his head in a mixture of disgust & disappointment.

"Why do you hang out with those guys?" Gibby says as he stepped out of the trash can for the second time—brushing off the junk that had accumulated on his sweater vest.

"…because… they're cool. And… Carly likes cool" Freddie says, as a light blush crept unto his cheeks.

"Uggghhh, not that old song & dance again."

"Hey, what's that suppose to mean?"

"I mean, c'mon Freddie" Gibby says, flinging his hand across Freddie's shoulder.

"Do you know how many _girls_ are into you?"

Freddie flinches at his smell. '_It's probably gonna get on my jacket… eeww…'_

"But that's just it! I don't want _girls_ to be into me. I want _Carly_ to be into me."

"That makes no sense, Carly's a girl too"

"Oh you know what I mean!" Freddie says in desperation, shaking off Gibby's arm.

"I mean, if I were in your situation I'd be dating cheerleaders!"

"Well, you're not." Freddie says a-matter-a-factly. "And I don't want any other girl, cheerleader or otherwise. I want Carly." He says, walking away.

"It's your loss Freddie! It's your loss!" Gibby yells. _'…What an idiot…a jock without a girlfriend? Eh… can't say I blame him though. Carly is HOTT. With a double T for emphasis!'_

_I mean she used to be pretty in middle school. But man, she has fiiiilllleeedd out since then! Big boobies & everything! Yeah…I get you Freddie, I get you. But still… I'd be dating cheerleaders!" _

"…Uggghhhh…"

He looks to his side & sees Jeremy slowly regaining consciousness.

"C'mon dude. Let's get you to the nurse's office"

'…_God, I hate my life.'_

_

* * *

_

"So what do you have to say for yourself young lady?"

"Ummm… I didn't do it?" Sam says. She was in the Principals office (like usual) and yet again Principal Franklin was staring her down like she caused the end of the world. '_I think this guy took this job just to mess with me._'

Franklin had jumped the opportunity to take the job at a high school. But now he was regretting his actions. _'Why did I take this job? I should've known Sam would be here. I think this girl just went to high school to mess with me.'_

'_**Let the stare down begin'**_

"You didn't do it?" He says suspiciously.

"Yup, that's what I said & I'm sticking to it"

"Well then can you explain this report sent in by our maintenance manager, who had & I quote heard you yelling "_I'm going to kill you! I'm going to kill you! I'm going to kill you! I'm going to—"_

"Okay! I get the point!" Sam said flinging her arms in defeat.

"So you admit you had assaulted one Mr. Gibby & Mr. Jeremy with a—"He said as he looked at the report within his hands with very disbelieving eyes.

"—a half-eaten apple…"

"Yeah, yeah, what's the punishment? Let's get on with it."

"Well, given your frank apathetic reply I'm going to—"

"What? Use big words I can't understand?"

"_**Ahem**_. No. Now if you would let me finish, I am going to suspend you—"

"Pffftt, like you never done that before." She said as she rolled her eyes.

"—I am" He starts again, his eyes warning & stern. "I am going to sentence you to two weeks suspension & a month of community service at my wife's daycare"

"What!? You can't do that! You're not a judge!"

"Well, I'm letting you get off easy here Sam. I could send this to a judge & he could sentence you to a much harsher punishment. But luckily for you my wife's daycare is under-staffed & she needs someone to help her clean up"

"You mean I'm gonna have to clean baby puke!?"

"Well, yes. That's exactly what I'm saying"

"Why don't you just cut of my leg & feed me to piranhas!"

"Well that's no—"

"**Wait!** What ever Sam did, she is very, very sorry!" Carly busted through the door a-fluster & out of breath.

"Wha—what are you doing here?" Sam asked wide eyed.

"Freddie told me you might be in trouble"

"Ahhh…. Fredwart" Sam grinded. _'Ohhhh, he is going to get it.'_

"I'm sorry Carly, but I've already sent out Sam's punishment"

"But—"

"No buts miss Shay. Anyways, shouldn't you be in 3rd period right now?"

"Uhhh… well I… anyways nice seeing you Mr. Franklin!" She stuttered, as she grabbed onto Sam's sweater & flew out of the room—dragging her to the nearest corner to berate her.

"What did you do this time?" She asks.

"Ummmm…" Sam couldn't speak. She wanted to dodge Carly for the rest of the day, but here she was an inch away from her. She smelled like flowers & vanilla and Sam couldn't help but note how her chest rose & fell with every breath. Or how her lips were a gorgeous cherry red, like a fruit ready to be plucked & eaten.

'_Has Carly always been so… alluring?'_

"Helloooo, Earth to Sam" She said, waving a hand in front of her best friend's eyes.

"Wha— What?"

"Are you okay?" She asks worriedly, raising her hand to feel Sam's forehead.

"You don't feel like you have a fever."

'_Oh God, she's too close. __**Way **__**too close**__.'_

Sam shut her eyes & started counting backwards from ten to one. '_10, 9, 8, relax, 7, breathe, 6—'_

"Hey" Carly whispers.

"You okay?"

'_I love to make her bleed. I love how the red droplets coat the virgin white sheets of her bed—showing me she would never forget about us & the nights we share.'_

"Ahhh! I uhhh…. I gotta go!" Sam stuttered, backing away from Carly's touch.

"Where?"

"…uuhhh… well, I'm suspended… so… anywhere… but here" She says under her breath.

"Okay…well, call me when school is over, I wanna know if you'll be okay. You look flushed." Carly says, touching Sam's cheek.

"Okay! Got it, bye!" Sam panicked & half-ran towards the exit, waving a feeble bye to her best friend.

"…Okay… see you" Carly says confused.

'_What was that about?'_

_

* * *

_

"Hey Carly, is something wrong?"

Freddie said as he watched a dazed Carly pick at her food. It was lunch time & they were sitting at their favorite table in the cafeteria.

"Ummm… hellooooo, Carly?" He said again, waving his half eaten sandwich at her face.

"Wha—What are you doing?" She says snatching the sandwich from his hands.

"You were totally out of it! What's up?" Freddie asks, leaning over the table to get closer to her.

"Nothing. Just Sam."

"Ahhhh… okay, what about her?" He asks as he grabbed his sandwich & takes a bite.

"She just seemed… _weird_ today"

"Whad'ya mean? She's **weird** every day!" He says, flinging his arms in exasperation.

"No." She says rolling her eyes. "I mean, I've never seen her like that before. She seemed so unsure of herself… it was just not Sam-like"

"Well, maybe she's on her period"

"That can't be possible, she just had her period two weeks ago"

"You know, sometimes its freaky how close you guys are." He says with wide eyes.

"Well I would know because she borrows m—wait why am I explaining myself? Anyways there's something up with her" Carly says, slamming her fist on the table for emphasis.

"Maybe she's pregnant" Freddie says jokingly.

Carly's eyes almost shot out of her face as she quickly reached over & punched Freddie on the shoulder.

"Owwww, I thought I was safe from the hitting cuz Sam wasn't here!"

"Well, don't joke about something like that! What makes you think Sam even—you know, does _that_!" Carly half yelled.

"Well…" He starts while rubbing the sore spot Carly had left. "First of all, I was just lightening the mood. Second, were 17 now & third Sam has always been a wild chick."

"Well _wild_ doesn't mean _slut_, Freddie! I can't even believe you'd even suggest that!"

"Wha—I wasn't suggesting anything!" He says in disbelief, while Carly started packing up her stuff.

"Whatever, I'll see you during rehearsal" She says as she walked away from him & headed towards the exit.

"…damn it…" He sulked, throwing his half-eaten sandwich on the table.

"Hey-hey, Freddie man, trouble in paradise?"

Freddie turned around to see no one else but _Jake_ Krandle, quarterback & lady's man extraordinaire. Ever since he broke up with his middle school girlfriend, he's been out with almost all the pretty girls in school. Sometimes Freddie thinks most of his popularity was his fault. If he never fixed his voice on iCarly way back when, Jake would never have become so full of himself.

'_I've created a monster' _

"I can see your still pining for Carly" He says with that perpetually smug smile that never seems to leave his face.

"Yeah, what of it" Freddie hated him to the core. He was obnoxious, conceited & just a total douche all around.

"You don't seem to be going anywhere. How long has it been? Like, four years?"

"Three years & eight months. So?"

"I just think it's time to move on."

"I am"

"It doesn't seem like it"

Freddie looked at him in annoyance, but that just seemed to give Jake all the more reason to smile.

"How about this buddy, I'll trade you Brittany for Carly. That way everyone's happy!"

'_What?'_ Freddie couldn't believe his ears. _How much of an asshole is this guy?!_

"Carly's not a car I can trade whenever I want!" He said, his anger boiling through his skin.

"Well, I bet I can ride her like one"

'_That's it!'_

Freddie was just about to lunge at him when Jed came over to the table with a smile that could crack his face.

"Hey fellas, guess who sucked my dick last night & swallowed?"

"What? Who?" Jake asks, his attention fully shifted from Freddie to Jed.

"Bianca Anderson" He says smugly.

"What? No way!" Freddie interjected incredulously, all his past anger suddenly gone. Bianca was in his French class. She was a good girl all the way, a straight A student, key club president & played the violin tremendously.

"Yup, believe it. I got the video on my phone." He says, taking out his blackberry.

"You actually got away with it?" Jake laughed.

"Well, she was preoccupied with _other _things" Jed said triumphantly, scanning his phone for the notorious file.

"Here it is!"

And just as promised there it was—a video of Bianca Anderson deep throating Jed's cock behind the school bleachers. It was blurry & some of it consisted of Jed smiling & giving the camera a thumbs up, but it was crystal clear that he'd been telling the truth.

"I can't believe it…" Freddie murmured.

"Oh believe it, Freddie man, all the girls in this school are whores, you just don't know it yet." Jake states with a serious face.

'_**All**__ the girls?'_ Freddie couldn't help but think, while a deep sense of worry began to form in his gut. _'Carly's not like that… is she?'_

The bell rang before Freddie could even begin to ponder the possibility of his love being a closet-slut. And apprehensively, very much so, Freddie walked towards his 4rth period class without the usual spring in his step.

* * *

_**A/N:** Your highschool experience may vary.^_^_


	2. Alex Delarge

**iFucking Hate Puberty**

**II**

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**

"Explosive! Dynamic! Sure to pass the test!

We explode with spirit, and eliminate the rest!"

The Ridgway High cheering squad chanted with fervor as Freddie went up to kick the ball. It was nowhere near football season, but the coach decided to hold practice three days a week anyway. "It keeps you sharp!" He would yell & sometimes it would get on Freddie's nerves. He just went in this to win Carly over, but lately it became so much more.

He wasn't pushed around anymore, he had somewhere to fit in & girls actually flocked to him. Everything should be good, right? He glanced over to the squad—they weren't really needed at practice but the girls just went out of their way to be wherever the team was. He looked over the flock of girls & spotted Tasha—the cruel bitch of their past. And now she was even worse. She was cheer captain.

She still took time from her glamorous life to patronize Carly whenever she was around. "No one watches iCarly anymore, grow up!" She'd always say. But that was farther from the truth. Networks clawed at Carly & when they found out she could sing, even more offers came in. Spencer talked her out of it though, he said that nothing could ever make up for your high school years & she agreed only to do a few appearances here & there as long as it didn't affect her studies.

Carly was famous in school & out. '_But she never even realizes it'._ Freddie thought with a smile. _'That's one of the things that makes her so special. She's never lets fame get to her head & she never thinks she's superior to anyone. That's why I love her.'_ But the problem was, so did everyone else.

Carly Shay was hot property in Ridgeway high, ala _Mandy Lane_ without all the murderous & psychotic tendencies. Sure there were cheerleaders & gymnasts, but there was something about Carly. She was pure. **Untainted**. And that's when Freddie realized he had nothing to worry about.

'_I can't believe I let Jake get under my skin! That total douche bag! Carly is nowhere near the girls in this high school, she's in an entirely different level! I can't believe I even doubted her…& the gull of Jake telling me to trade girls with him?! What the hell is wrong with that guy?! ' _

And with all that bottled anger, Freddie kicked the ball & it flew & flew, right over the end zone. His team's faces were overcome with shock & amazement. It took them a moment to take it all in before they started patting Freddie on the back & chanting his name. The cheerleaders cooed & Freddie couldn't help but laugh.

Life was good.

* * *

Sam paced the short expanse of her room, rummaging for photos & magazines she thought would help her sort out her conundrum. She sat down on her bed, & laid them all out—like a map of life, she desperately needed. On the left side she had pictures of half-naked guys in their jockeys _(she had her mother to thank for them) _& on her right she had scantily clad women on a Victoria's Secret catalogue.

Sam had figured that being into Carly couldn't be possible if she weren't gay. So first she had to figure out which team she played on before jumping onto any conclusions. '_I mean, how can I be into Carly if I were straight? It could've been some weird fluke! But what if… what if I am gay? What the hell am I suppose to do then? Come out to everyone I know? That'll just fuel more hate from those bitches in school! They'll make my life a living hell, as if it weren't bad enough. And… Carly. Would she still be friends with me? Or would she be grossed out?'_

Sam shook her head viciously, trying her best to end her train of thought. _'I have to do this first. If it turns out I'm straight then great! I'm cleared of everything. I have nothing to worry about.'_ An anxious Sam then began to imagine one of these men in bed with her, touching her, kissing her. It didn't feel right. No matter how hard Sam tried, she felt dirty just thinking about it. She then hastily scanned page after page, changing her vision of the man. She must've gone through eighteen magazines & yet nothing felt right.

A dejected Sam then looked to her right. It was a warehouse spread with Adriana Lima on the cover. Her cat-like eyes were smoked & stunning as she laid a-waste on a worn crate. She had her hands over her head & Sam noted how they almost looked tied together. Her body was clad with only a black laced thong, while her nude breasts were covered by her chestnut locks. But it was her expression that really caught Sam's attention. She looked so submissive yet so dominant at the same time. Everything about the picture just screamed 'Come Hither'.

And Sam was definitely 'hithering'.

She could imagine Carly in that position—laid out like a three-course meal before her. Oh, the bad things she would do made Sam shiver. She'd lick & nibble at every visible piece of skin. She'd make her moan & groan her name over & over again. _'I'd fuck her so hard the walls will begin to shake' _& before she knew it, Sam had her hand in her panties, slowly rubbing herself to the thoughts of her best friend.

It wasn't until she came that Sam realized what she'd done.

'_Oh fuck. Did I just… Oh God. I just masturbated to Carly!'_

And for Sam Puckett,

Life was horrible.

* * *

"Sam! What's going on, I've left you about five messages. I wanna know if you're okay. Please, call me Sam. I don't know where you are. I went to your place & you weren't there. Please Sam, I just wanna know if you're okay. Please." Carly begged as her call went straight to voicemail yet again. Carly paced her apartment complex in hopes of hearing her phone ring. But the only thing that rang was the door bell & a very concerned Carly ran to open it.

She had hoped with all her heart that it was Sam, so she was very disappointed to see otherwise.

"Ummm… I know we had a bit of an argument earlier & I'm sorry" Freddie said, handing Carly a bouquet of flowers. "It's a peace offering" He said with a smile. But it had soon dropped when he saw Carly's expression. She looked like she didn't want to see him at all. "Well… I didn't think you'd stay mad at me for this long…" He said apologetically.

"No" She said wearily. "I was just… expecting someone else"

Freddie's face visibly fell.

"Who?"

Carly looked at her phone tiredly. "Sam"

"Oh!" Freddie lightened; obviously relieved she hadn't been talking about someone else.

"Isn't she here for rehearsal?" he asked & she just shook her head.

"I can't get a hold of her & I'm worried. She always calls me back." She says anxiously.

"Well, I think she just wants some space right now. For… whatever it is she's going through"

"But… I've never seen her like that in my life Freddie! & I've known her for most of it!"

"Were in high school now, Carly. We're getting older & some of us need more space than others. We can't always be who we used to be." He says in a soft tone.

"But…" Carly's voice cracked. "She's Sam. _My_ Sam."

"Well, she still is. You just need to let her breathe & stop worrying for a little bit. She can take care of herself." He gives her a reassuring smile and raises the bouquet he got her.

"Thanks" Carly softly smiles, taking the bouquet from his hands.

"No problem" He says as his smile grew bigger.

It was that same cute boyish smile girls in school went crazy for. In fact, they often refer to him as the big, gorgeous teddy bear. He had grown a lot since middle school. He now stood at six feet tall with thick brown hair that you just want to ruffle up every time you saw him. And his eyes were the kindest of chocolate brown. His voice might have deepened & he may be in the football team, but Freddie was still the same sensitive Techie Carly had met four years ago.

And that was one of the things she loved about him.

* * *

It was 11:00 P.M. and Sam was at a local coffee shop by her house. She needed some time alone so she'd left her apartment complex early—leaving her phone behind.

"Hey, you need a refill?" The barista asked her, with a pot of steaming coffee in his hand.

"Yeah, that'd be good" She says wearily.

"Okay…" He says, filling up her cup. Every now & then he'd look at her face but Sam was so preoccupied with her thoughts she didn't even notice.

He was just about her age & had piercings on his lip & brow. His hair was dyed a deep red & his eyes were a lovely dark green. Sam didn't know who he was, but it seemed he knew her.

"Hey Alex, you know that girl or something?" His co-worker asked, as he leaned over the bar.

"Yeah, she goes to my school." He says back, still staring at Sam.

"Wow, she's a looker!" The man said approvingly.

"I know…" Alex says with a light blush.

"Hohoho, what? You into her or something?"

"No!" Alex quickly spun, his face now beet red.

"Defensive, much?" The man says with a laugh.

"It's… it's not that. I just. I've never seen her like that before"

"Whad'ya mean?"

"I mean… in school she was always so… cool. Like she was so sure of herself & whatever other people say never seems to matter." Alex says admiringly. "She's the one who gave me the guts to come out to my parents." He says, a small smile gracing his features.

"So you guys are real good friends then?"

"No…" Alex sighed. "I just used to… admire her from afar."

"Huh… well why don't you talk to her now then?" His co-worker says—giving him a friendly nudged forward.

"I can't do that! She looks like she needs to be alone!" Alex says.

"If you ask me, it looks like she needs a friend." He says back, looking at Alex with a fatherly smile.

Sam Puckett was slouched on a corner booth, isolated from the public. Her long platinum locks hid her face from the rest of the world. But Alex knew what was behind them. During the years, Sam had grown from a tomboyish girl into a full fledged fox. To her utter dismay, her hair kept lightening year after year & she became one of those platinum blondes she had always made fun of. Her eyes became a striking blue while her lips remained a plush pink. Everything about her appearance just commanded your attention. She looked like she'd been ripped from the pages of French Vogue.

But it was her nonchalant attitude that really caught Alex's eye. She wasn't girly or conceited like most girls in his school. She often dressed in tight vintage tees & comfortable cargos. Her web show was incredibly popular, yet she never let it got to her head. She was still the same, aggressive girl who used to stuff him into lockers back in middle school.

Alex couldn't help but smile at the memory. Even then, he'd already admired her. He might've been just another nerd Sam had loved to tease, but for those moments he had felt special. It might sound crazy to some. But just having Sam's attention for a couple of seconds had been enough to please him. She was everything he wanted to become. He wanted to be strong & self-sufficient with friends he could always count on. And now he has that. But it seems the tables have turned.

And Alex was determined to set it back straight.

"Hey" He says, sliding into Sam's booth.

She had her head on her elbows & she raised it to get a glimpse at him.

"Who the hell are you?" She grunted.

"Just a fan" he says with a smile.

"Go away, I'm not in the mood for autographs" She says, shooing him with her hand.

Alex just laughed.

"I wasn't looking for one"

Sam tiredly sat back on her chair, getting a good look at him.

"Then what the hell are you doing here?"

"You look like you needed a friend" Alex says.

Sam's bangs hid most of her eyes—making her even more enigmatic. Her expressions were hidden & it made Alex nervous that she would just blow him off or call the cops for a restraining order.

"I have enough friends" She says flatly.

"None like me" He says with a smile.

"You're obnoxious."

"I try my best."

"Leave me alone."

"Can't. You've set off my radar."

"You're radar?"

"Yeah, my Cool-People-I-Gotta-Hang-Out-With Radar"

"Wow, that isn't nerdy at all…" She says sarcastically.

"Well, at least you got some of your old spite back!" he says with a smile.

"Do I even know you?" Sam asked

"I have you in almost all my classes! I sit behind you in Art & History."

"Huh… never realized. I don't really pay attention to those things"

"I know." He says turning away. "That's sort of why I like you"

Sam couldn't help but roll her eyes. _'You're wasting your time'_

"I'm gay" She says hoarsely.

"You are?" He said with wide eyes.

"Yup"

Sam looks at him as he begins to tear up. _'Woah… didn't think it would hit em' **that** hard'_

"That's--" He starts, wiping his eyes.

"—so freaking cool!" He bursts out—hugging Sam so tightly she couldn't breathe.

He lets up his bear hug before Sam suffocated to death & smiled ear to ear.

"I am too!" He says enthusiastically.

And Sam just raised a brow.

"I'm Alex Delarge" He says, outstretching his hand.

"Like… from a Clockwork Orange?" She asked dubiously.

"Yeah" he shrugged. "My parents are big Kubrick fans"

"That's funny…" Sam says. "So are mine."

Time freezes for a moment as Sam weighs the pros & cons of being friends with a complete stranger. Yet all the logical factors aside, Alex seemed like a pretty cool guy. He was someone Sam could definitely see herself hanging out with. _'I could use a new friend'_ Sam thought as she made her decision.

Time unfreezes & Sam takes his hand.

"Sam Puckett. Nice to meet you." She smiles.

"Nice to meet you too" He smiles back.

And that was the start of a very strange friendship.

* * *

**_A/N:_** _I'ma fast updater ^_^. Mostly because this is gonna be a looongg ride. What will Alex introduce Sam to? What will Sam do about her attraction to Carly? What the hell is going on with Carly & Freddie? And where the hell is Spencer?!_

_Curiosity is embraced. Click & Review. ^_^ _


	3. Life Get's Complicated

**iFucking Hate Puberty**

**III**

**

* * *

**

_**Warning**: Hardcore Smut ahead. Served tart, with a side of lemons. **o,o**_

* * *

I pushed her against the wall, as I kissed her lips feverishly—filling her hot mouth with my tongue. I hear her moan in protest but I continue—pinning her hands up above her head.

"Sam… we can't… we can't do this" She says, but I just look at her & smile.

"Why do you always have to fight me?"

We both knew how this would end. She'd protest & protest yet I'd fuck her anyways. I kept her hands pinned down as I began nibbling on her neck—licking the sweat off her skin.

"Sam...pleeeaaase…" She moans again, but I ignore her & continue my assault, dropping her hands so I could feel her chest. I massage her breast through her shirt & my smile broadens when she groans in pleasure.

"Do you really want me to stop?" I ask her & she just looks at me with half-lidded eyes.

"You're mean" she groans.

"No" I say. "Just horny."

I push her back against the wall, so I could strip her of her shirt. She tries to stop me, but I'm much stronger. I rip the fabric & expose her large heaving breasts.

"Stop" She says again.

"Shut up" I say before I went down to kiss her nipple—suckling on the pink flesh while she writhed beneath me.

"Uggghhhh…."

"You are so hot, Carly Shay"

I unbutton my pants & she's too dazed to even notice the surprise I had in store. But I smile when she finally does. I had an eight inch strap-on that looked amazingly like the real thing & she could only gasp in astonishment.

I push her onto her knees & order her to suck its length. I couldn't help but groan, when she does. We were in one of the stalls in the school bathrooms where the walls were crammed with stupid high school gossip. Girls came in & out but none of them had any idea what was going on behind one of the doors.

I fell onto the toilet seat when she began to deep-throat my cock—sucking the growth with fervor while her knees endured the cold tiles of the bathroom floor.

"You're such a slut" I tell her as I pull her head in closer. I could hear her choke & I couldn't help but laugh.

I raised her to her feet & hiked up her skirt.

"Tell me how much you want it" I whisper into her ear.

She was rubbing herself onto me, completely oblivious of what I had just said. So I lift her by the hair & asked again.

"I want it..." She moans—her head throbbing from were I held her.

"Beg" I say as I rub the growth against her skirt.

"Please… Sam… please fuck me…" she moans again & I smile in triumph.

"Good girl" I said as I pulled down her panties & plunged the cock deep inside her.

"Saaammm!" She moans in a jumble of pain & pleasure.

I move hastily within her, banging her lithe body against the door. She starts to scream my name & I love every minute of it. I stop mid coitus just to look at her face. Her brown locks were stuck to her skin, which was littered with droplets of sweat. I couldn't help but touch her cheeks, which were bright red with labor.

She opens her big brown eyes & looks at me questioningly.

"Why'd you stop?" She says out of breath.

"Shut up." I say, before plunging in once more.

* * *

The alarm rings. A tired & very flustered Sam awakens. The dreams were getting worse. It's been a week since the first & every day since then, all she dreamed about was Carly. The sex was getting rougher & rougher while the images became more & more vivid. It wasn't going well at all.

Sam rubbed her head in exasperation.

'_I really need to get laid…'_

Sam looked at the clock & noted it was five in the morning. She'd been waking up really early since her suspension a week ago so she could dodge Carly more effectively. _'I can't even look at a picture of her without feeling guilty, what more the real thing?'_

She'd been sneaking out before anyone was awake and coming home after everyone else was asleep—spending most of her time with Alex at work. He had given her a 100% Friend of Employee Discount at the shop. It turned out the place was owned by his family, so he could pretty much do anything he wanted. That was the silver-lining to all the craziness that's been happening to her life.

Sam sighed as she brushed her teeth. She hated the situation she was in. Every time she thought of her best friend she needed a cold shower. _'That's just not normal.' _She thought as she put on a jacket—opening her window to feel the cool Seattle air. _'Here's to another day' _Sam thought mockingly as she went out her window & climbed down the Fire Escape.

* * *

Carly came out of the principals office with a beaming smile.

"Huh… I haven't seen anyone so happy after being in there." A passing student says & Carly couldn't help but laugh.

Carly Shay had a plan. She was getting her best friend back.

* * *

It was the last period in school & Carly was getting anxious. She looked at the clock every five minutes, waiting for the bell to ring.

"Hey Carls, why so distracted?" Jackie asked her.

"Huh?"

"Just like that" Jackie laughed.

Carly just pouted in reply.

"Seriously though, what's up? Jackie said as she gained her bearings.

"Nothing. Just Sam" Carly sighed.

"Oh yeah. The hot blonde." Jackie said appreciatively.

"What?" Carly asked incredulously. She never heard anyone say that about Sam before.

"You know. Tall, blonde with a badass attitude"

"I know who you're talking about! I mean _**what**_?!" Carly said again with wide eyes.

"Whad'ya mean what?"

"You just call Sam a hot blonde!"

"Well, I'm not the only one who thinks so, honey." Jackie said a-matter-a-factly. "That girl is sex on a stick!"

Carly couldn't believe her ears.

"Are—are you bi or something?" Carly said, stuttering. She knew Jackie was going out with Erick, the running back, so she was sure she wasn't a lesbian.

Jackie just laughed out loud.

"God no! But if I were, I'd **definitely** do Sam" She said as she licked her lips.

"_**What**_?" Carly said again.

"Oh come on, like you've never noticed before! That girl is _made_ of **sex**!"

Carly's jaw dropped.

"The attitude, the eyes, the walk. You just know she'd be _**rough. **_And rough is definitely _**good.**_"

"Okay… I really don't need to hear you talking about my best friend like that." Carly said, suddenly annoyed.

"God Carly, you could be such a prude sometimes."

"A _**prude**_? You're talking about my **best** friend!" She half-shouted—making a few of her classmates' heads turn.

"You really need to lighten up." Jackie starts. "Tell you what, Erick is having a party this weekend. I think you should come."

"I'm not really one for parties…" Carly says. _"Not high school ones anyway. Every one there just thinks of two things: getting drunk & getting lucky.'_

"Well, Freddie will be there." Jackie sing-songs, nudging Carly on the shoulder.

"Yeah… we're just friends." Carly says, clearing the air.

"That's a shame. He is **GORGEOUS**."

"Oh God, I really don't need you to start talking about another one of my friends _**that**_way again." Carly says tiredly.

"Hahaha, you're so adorable! You'd think you were a virgin or something!" Jackie laughs.

Carly just looks away with a blush on her cheeks & Jackie stops laughing.

"**Oh my God.** _You __**are**__!_" She says with wide eyes.

"You don't have to announce it to everybody." Carly says quickly, looking around.

"That is so _cute_! Now you **definitely** need to go to the party!" Jackie says, grabbing hold of Carly's hands.

"I really don't feel like going."

"Well you _**have**_ to! It's now my mission to get you laid!" Jackie says resolutely.

"I really don't want help in that department."

"Well too bad! I'm helping you anyways."

Carly just rolls her eyes. _'I really don't need this today. I have more serious things to worry about."_

"I swear on my life that by the end of this year, you will no longer be a virgin!"

"Like I said, I really don't want—"

The bell rings before Carly could finish & she was never so happy about in her life. She packs up her things quickly & storms out the door, hearing a faint yell behind her.

"It's got to happen some time!" Jackie says at her retreating form.

Carly was really starting to hate high school.

* * *

"So… any plans today, besides eating all our food for free?" The Louvre coffee shop manager asks.

"Nope." Sam says casually, before stuffing her face full of cupcakes.

"Hey Don, giving Sam a hard time again?" Alex says, as he comes into the store.

"I just think giving all your friends a free-all-you-can-eat pass is a **bad** idea"

"Well, I don't give **all** my friends a free-all-you-can-eat-pass." Alex says sweetly. "Just Sam."

The manager huffs indignantly.

"You just gonna stand there or are you gonna give me more cupcakes?" Sam asks, as she hands Don an empty platter. "Chop! Chop!" she adds when he looks at her hatefully.

He goes into the kitchen door & muttering 'I hate my life' along the way. Sam & Alex stare at each other & laugh hysterically.

"I don't think that'll ever get old!" Alex says, clutching his stomach.

"Hey, I just wanted more cupcakes" Sam says with a smile.

"So…" Alex starts as he slides into Sam's booth. "How was your day?"

"Eh." Sam shrugs. "Same a usual."

"Eating all my food for free?"

"Pretty much"

Alex laughs.

"So, how was school?" Sam asks as she took a bite out off a chocolate biscotti.

"Pretty boring without you around" Alex says, as he pours himself a cup of Joe.

"What can I say? I'm a one-woman party"

"Oh!" Alex suddenly remembered. "Speaking of which, there's this big jock party at the Matheson's estate this weekend."

"Huh." Sam replies uninterested.

"Oh come on!" He says with a smile. "I bet Carly's going!"

"Doubt it. She doesn't like high school parties." Sam says as she watches Don come back with a platter full of cupcakes.

"Well… I just thought it was a good time to you know…" Alex starts.

"No. I've told you a thousand times, I'm **never** going to tell her." She says as she grabs the platter off Don's hands.

"But wwwwwhhhhhyyyyyyyyy???" Alex whined.

"**Because**. That's why."

"That's not even a reason!"

"Don't make me punch you."

"Okay. Shutting up now." Alex says, zipping his lips.

Sam had told him about her '_situation'_ three days ago & since then he'd been adamant that Carly & her were soul mates. _'Think about it!' _he gushed. _'Childhood friends who try to find true love, but then realize they've been looking in all the wrong places. It's a classic!"_ Sam had just rolled her eyes. _"It doesn't quite work that way in reality" _She had said. But to this day, he continued to pester her about it.

"Well. I think it's a good way to get your mind off things." Alex says as he takes a sip out of his coffee.

"Yeah. Drunken hormonal teens who think about sex all day. Yup, grrreeeaatt way to cheer me up." Sam says sarcastically.

"It cheers me up all the time!"

"That's because you're one of them."

Alex laughs whole-heartedly. "That's so true!" He says, wiping his eyes.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure that out." She says as she takes a bite off her tenth cupcake.

"You know. Its always bothered me how you can eat so much yet still stay so fit."

"I have a really fast metabolism"

"Huh, you sure you don't purge after every meal?" He says with a smile.

"Not in a million years."

"You're ssooooo coooooool!" He gushes.

"Oh God, not the '_I'm your number one fan!'_ thing, again."

"But I am!" He says indignantly.

"You better watch it. I might call the cops on you." Sam says with a smile.

"Well, they've got to get me kicking & screaming! I'm never gonna leave you!"

"Huh... that's not creepy at all."

"Yeah. But the whole sacrificing rabbits to your name thing is." He says casually & Sam couldn't help but laugh.

"I like your humor"

"Who said I was joking" He says with wide eyes & Sam spits most of her food in surprise.

"Pfffftt…. You should have seen your face!" He says cracking up, tears forming in his eyes.

"Not funny!" Sam half-yells as she smacks him on the shoulder.

"I'm never gonna wash this shoulder again!"

"That's gross!"

"Well, I am a _**dirty**_ boy." He says sexily & Sam laughs hysterically.

They made quite the pair.

* * *

"Hey Freddie" Jennifer Alfred says sweetly.

"Oh, hey Jen" Freddie replies as he splashes water on his face at a nearby water fountain. _'Why is it so hot today? It's the middle of January for Pete's sake.'_

Jen bit her lip as Freddie addressed her. He was sweaty & wet from practice and Jen wanted nothing more than to lick him clean. _'God this boy is sexy.'_

"Soooo…" She starts. "How was practice?"

"Eh, same old. Really hard" He says with a smile.

'_I bet it was' _Jen thought as she looked him up & down. Freddie couldn't help but fidget at her gaze. She made him uncomfortable. It always seemed like she wanted to eat him up or something & it scared Freddie to death every single time.

"Soo… you going to Erick's party?" She says after she virtually undressed him with her eyes.

"Ummm… yeah. I'm in the team with him, so I think it's sort of mandatory."

"God, I love it when you use big words!" She says seductively & Freddie couldn't help but cringe. _'__**What**__?'_

"Yeah… anyways I have to get home" He says as he pointed towards the exit.

"Where? I can give you a ride" She says back.

'_She isn't going to let up.' _Freddie sighs.

"Ummm… over at Bushwell Plaza."

"Oh right where Carly lives! I know where that is." She says excitedly as she took his hand & led him to her car.

Jen was in the volleyball team. She was tall, fit, strawberry blonde & had the ass of a stallion. Freddie knew a lot of guys who wanted to sleep with her & some who already have. She was supposedly a 'freak in the sheets' as they quoted & he couldn't help but wince every single time. _'I hate it when they talk about girls like blow-up dolls. They're human beings for crying out loud!'_

Jen turned the radio up & it took Freddie away from his thoughts.

"I love this song!" She gushed as she started dancing to the beat & he couldn't help but stare at how her chest jiggled as she moved. He was a teenage boy after all.

Freddie cleared his throat & looked away. Jen just smiled in self-satisfaction.

"It's okay to stare you know. I don't mind."

Freddie spun around quickly like a deer caught in the headlights—with a heavy blush on his face.

"You're sooo cute" She purred as she reached her hand & started rubbing his cock through his pants.

Freddie couldn't believe what was going on. He was getting turned on even though he didn't want to.

Jen looked at him & smiled, putting the car on park at a seedy liquor store.

She leaned over to the passenger seat & unzipped his pants—gasping at the length before her.

"I didn't expect you to be _**this**_ big." She said admiringly while Freddie was frozen solid.

She pushed his pants to his ankles as she positioned herself on top of him.

"Have you ever been ridden out in a car before?" She asked seductively.

"…no…" He says, still in shock.

"Well, I'll be the first then." She says back as she reached in her pocket & pulled out a condom. She tore it open with her mouth while massaging his cock. Freddie moaned beside himself.

She put the violet rubber on his penis before she unzipped her own pants & smiled proudly.

"You're not wearing any underwear?" Freddie asked.

"Nope." She says—sucking on his bottom lip.

"I don't think we shoul—"She took him by the mouth before he could say anything else—pushing herself downwards to meet his awaiting erection.

"Ugghhhh" They moaned simultaneously as they untied into one single being.

"Fuck…" She gasped as she began moving her hips & Freddie couldn't help but move with her.

He grabbed her breasts in heat & she moaned in pleasure.

"Let me take it off" She groaned as she began discarding her tank top. He couldn't help but suck on her nude breasts as she began moving faster on top of him.

"I'm gonna cum" He groaned.

"No." She says sternly as she pulled herself off him.

"I want you to cum in my mouth" She then continues as she positioned herself on her knees.

"…okay…" Freddie said, unsure.

She took the condom off & started licking his shaft. He grabbed the back of her head in delight & Jen just smiled. _'I'm gonna make you mine' _She thought as she began suckling on his head.

Freddie came & Jen pushed her head deeper—swallowing all that he was giving. The pair soon sat back & stared at each other.

"You taste good." She said.

"Thanks…" He said back.

The ride home was uneventful. They were silent the whole way through. Jen was satisfied with herself while Freddie felt incredibly dirty. She stopped by his apartment complex & kissed him on the cheek.

"We should do this again" She says with a smile.

"Yeah…" He says uncertain.

"I'll see you in school?"

"Yeah. See you in school." He says, waving her goodbye as she shut the car door.

Life was getting really complicated.

* * *

It was 12:00 A.M. as Sam Puckett sneaked into her room. The day went with a breeze with the help of Alex. The pair had bantered back and forth for hours on end & Sam couldn't help but smile at the memory.

'_He's a real cool guy.' _She thought as she took off her jacket & pants. She usually slept with a tank top & undies and today was no exception. Sam was in need of some much needed rest. _'I never knew dodging someone was this exhausting!'_

She walked over her bed & plopped down tiredly—hugging the first thing she could grab. _'So soft…" _She thought delightfully. _"And warm…"_

Her pillow moaned & Sam's eyes suddenly grew wide. _'Since when did I have a talking pillow?'_

"Saamm?" Her pillow asked groggily.

'_What the hell does Alex put in my coffee?!' _She thought, as the pillow began to move.

"Sam?" It said again.

'_Huh… it sounds a __**lot**__ like Carly."_ Sam thought—her arms still hugging it tightly.

'_**Wait a minute!' **_She backtracked.

Sam Puckett looked to her side & saw Carly Shay in her arms. She was clothed in an over sized shirt & the softness Sam was feeling was none other than her best friend's breast.

The scream that enveloped Seattle that day was ear-piercing shrill—awakening every sleeping citizen in a three mile radius.

It's not presumptuous to say that something earth-shattering was about to happen.

* * *

_**A/N:** And the fun officially begins! ^_^ Please read & review. Hate it? Love it? Which ever! ^,^  
_


	4. The Wreckage

**iFucking Hate Puberty**

**IV

* * *

  
**

Sam Puckett was in a loss for words. She was currently cornered at her bed post while the girl of her dreams _(pun intended) _sat half naked where she wanted her most.

"Wha—what are you doing here?!" Sam said in total surprise.

"I was worried." Carly said, rubbing her eyes free of any sand.

"That doesn't really answer my question." Sam quipped—still keeping her distance.

"Yes it does." Carly says crawling up to where her best friend sat.

'_Oh my God, she's on all fours.' _Sam couldn't help but think. Her heart was pounding & she could've sworn her brain had melted a few moments ago. _'Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! What do I do?! I left the window open. I can still make a break for it! How many seconds would that take me? It'll be freezing though, how many more added seconds would it be to put on a pair of jeans & a jacket? Ummm, if it takes me a second to get out of bed then it'll take me—" _

Sam's internal reverie was cut short when Carly threw her arms around her.

"I've missed you." Carly said softly as she hugged Sam like she never wanted to let go.

'_I can feel her breathe.' _ Sam couldn't help but think as her best friends body laid against her own. _'She smells like vanilla & coconuts…I wonder what she'd taste like.'_ Sam's eyes grew wide at that last thought as she pushed Carly away from her.

"What's been going on with you?!" Carly yelled, absolutely shocked at her friend's sudden coldness.

"It's none of your business!" Sam said defensively—she was starting to get angry.

"I'm you're _**best**_ friend! I think I have the right to know what's going on!"

"You can't just barge in here & demand to know what's happening with me!"

"**Yes I can**!"

"How the hell did you get in here anyways?!"

"You're mom let me in!"

"Well, I'm returning the invitation!"

"_Excuse me_?"

"You heard me! Get **out** of **my** room!"

"I'm sorry I even cared!" Carly huffed as she climbed out of bed.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out!"

And in a matter of seconds Sam Puckett was alone once more—regretting the events that transpired just a few moments ago.

'_What the hell just happened?'_

_

* * *

  
_

"Ey, Freddie! Help me out with this keg would'ya?" Erick yelled as he single handedly transported a metal barrel that must've weighed a ton.

It was Saturday at the Matheson estate & Erick's parents were gone for Vegas. He thought it was the perfect time to be shamelessly opportunistic. _'Christmas comes soon' _He thought eagerly as his parents gave him the key. _'Beer, games & booty, here I come!'_

"Think this would be enough?" He asked Freddie, who was carrying the keg on the other side.

"Ummm…" Freddie looked around. The kitchen was half-filled with booze. "Yeah, I think this is enough."

"Just checking!" Erick said while a mischievous smile began to form on his mouth. "We are gonna get llaaaiiiiiddd tonight!"

"…yeah" Freddie said softly.

"Hey, why so down?"

"Wha—who said I was down?"

"I can see it in your face" Erick pointed out.

He was two years Freddie's senior & was graduating this July. He was one of the guys in the football team, Freddie actually liked. He was dating Jackie, who was a stone-cold-fox & the two were going pretty steady. Every time someone said anything bad about her, Erick would beat the crap out of them. _'Yeah, he's a real cool guy.' _Freddie thought.

"It's nothing" He said in reply.

"Is it because Jen totally rode you out in her car?"

"Yea—wait?! How do you know about that?!" Freddie half-yelled in complete surprise.

Erick smirked. "She's been talking about it like crazy."

"She is?" Freddie said, visibly deflating.

"Yup." Erick says, his smile broadening. "She says you were **HUGE**!"

Freddie just blushed in reply.

Erick slung his arm around his junior's shoulder & gave him a noogie. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Owww, oww, stop that!" Freddie says, getting out of his grip.

"Hey, your dick-cherry just got popped! Smile man, it's supposed to be the happiest day of your life!"

"Yeah… it sure doesn't feel like it…" Freddie sighed.

"Is this cuz of that Carly chick?"

"…yeah"

"Want some advice?"

"I guess it wouldn't make anything worse…"

"Don't go out with Jen"

"What?" Freddie's head popped back up—he wasn't expecting that at all.

"Jen's a whore. She's a good fuck, yeah. But Carly… she's a keeper."

Freddie looked at Erick with a blank stare.

"She's one in a million. Yeah there are a shit load of hot girls out there. But do you really want to see their face every morning? Listen to them whine about shoes & all that other stuff?"

"I guess not…" Freddie says.

"You want a good girl who won't cheat on you & would be there when you need her most. And I'm pretty sure Carly's _that_ girl" Erick says with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're right!" Freddie says, feeling rapidly rejuvenated. "You know—"

"Babe!" Jackie says—cutting off Freddie—as she pushed herself off a throng of football players.

"I was looking for you!"

"Oh yeah?" Erick says, shifting his attention.

"Yeah." Jackie smiles as she kisses him on the lips.

"Oh! Hey Freddie!" She says when she notices him standing there.

"I was just giving him some advice." Erick says as he snuggled her into a soft embrace.

"About what?"

"Girl problems."

"Aahhhh… that Jen thing."

Freddie couldn't believe his ears.

"How many people know about that!?"

Jackie laughed.

"Almost the whole batch."

"What?!" Freddie says with wide eyes.

"Well, you are quite a catch" Jackie winks & Freddie blushes.

"Hey, hey" Erick said in mock jealousy.

"Oh, you know I love you!" Jackie smiled as she kissed her boyfriend on the nose.

Freddie couldn't help but smile at the sight. _'They're really cute together'_

"Anyways…" She started, taking her eyes off her boyfriend. "I think you'd be a lot better off with Carly"

"That's the same thing I said!" Erick says a-matter-a-factly.

"Oh my God! We're soul mates!" Jackie says laughing.

"Yeah, we are." Erick says seriously while he stared affectionately at his girlfriend's eyes.

'…_and that's my queue…" _Freddie thought, as he backed away from the loving couple. _'I wish Carly & me could be like that someday…' _andFreddie couldn't help but laugh at the thought.

'_A boy can dream after all…'_

_

* * *

  
_

"Hey Sam, why so tired?" Alex asked as she walked into the Louvre. He had a bunch of dirty trays in his hands after cleaning out a couple of tables & the sight of a disheveled Sam made him worry.

"Carly" She said halfheartedly—sliding herself into her usual booth.

"Care to elaborate?"

"She was half-naked on my bed last night"

"**WHAT?!**" He yelled, dropping the metal trays on the floor—making a lot of customers heads' turn.

"You did—how did—what happ—**DETAILS**!!!" He stumbled excitedly, quickly discarding his apron & past responsibilities to give Sam his undivided attention.

Don walked through the kitchen door & saw the mess. _'I hate my life so much.' _He grumbled to himself as he began to clean up.

"It's not what you think." Sam said glumly.

"Okay… what happened?" He said with a confused look on his face.

Sam took a deep breath & began to tell Alex what had transpired scene after scene. The two were enrapt in their conversation for what seemed like hours before Alex gave out a shriek of surprise.

"**You did what!?**" He said incredulously.

"**I know!**" Sam said smacking her head on the table.

"_**What the hell!?**_ That was the _**perfect**_ opportunity!" He said, flinging his arms in exasperation.

"**I** **panicked**!"

"She was half-naked on _**your**_ bed!"

"_**I know!**_ You don't have to keep rubbing it in!"

"Well If _**I**_ don't, someone else will!"

"No one else knows!" Sam says in frustration.

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Alex says awkwardly.

"Well… it can't be _**that**_ bad." He said after a few seconds of silence.

"You weren't there." She says, staring at the table. "She was really upset…"

"Well… this isn't the first time you guys fought, right?"

"Yeah… I guess it's not." Sam thought back at the time she traded Carly's shirt for Cuddlefish tickets. She was really mad then too.

"See? You guy's will make up." Alex says with a reassuring smile.

"I just feel like a total asshole." Sam sighed.

"She caught you off guard! It's not like you meant to yell at her."

"I guess so…" Sam says.

"C'mon" Alex said as he stood up & reached for Sam's hand.

"What?"

"We're gonna take your mind off things!"

"How?"

Alex smiled impishly.

"The only way I know how… _Arena!_"

"What's _Arena_?"

"This 18 and above GLBT club I know of!"

"I'm not even 18…"

"Doesn't matter, they only card you when you go upstairs where the alcohol's served."

"Huh… that's genius."

"I know, right!?" He smiled wide-eyed.

"Now c'mon, we've gotta get you dressed!"

"I'm already dressed."

"Hohohoho… you're not dressed yet…" He said cryptically.

'_I'm going to regret this' _Sam thought as she grabbed his hand.

* * *

Carly was lying in her apartment couch with a frown. _'Why'd she get so mad? I was just worried about her! I don't get it…' _She sits up & looks at a picture of her & Sam back in middle school. Carly had a Santa hat on & Sam had a bucket of chili. They were both grinning so hard, you'd think their faces would break. She looks at Sam & sighs.

'_Why won't you let me in?'_

"Hey Carls, why so glum?" Spencer asked as he walked in with an astronaut's helmet in his hands.

"Nothing. Just Sam." Carly sighed. _'How many times have I said that this past week?'_

"Oh yeah, I haven't seen her around here since forever!" He said, putting the strange item down. "Something happen?"

"Yeah…" She said miserably. "I'm just not sure what…"

"What do you mean?" He asks, plopping himself beside his troubled sister.

"She's just been so distant." She starts. "I haven't even talked or seen her for a week & then when I do, she blows me off! We used to be inseparable!"

"Well, that's puberty for you" Spencer said—rubbing his sister's head.

"What?"

"I mean, I used to be best buddies with this guy back in middle school. His name was… I can't even remember anymore. Anyways, high school came around & we both started changing. He got this cool mustache & I remained hairless up till college!"

"Uummm… is this story going anywhere? Carly asked.

"What? Oh right! So here he was, all cool with his stache, getting all the girls & he thinks he's better than me! So we get in this argument after he stole my girlfriend—"

"He _stole_ your girlfriend?!" Carly asked incredulously.

"Well… she was my girlfriend in my mind… but he knew that & he still went for her!"

"She was your '_mind'_ girl friend?" Carly smiled.

"Haha, very clever. Anyways he stole her from me!"

"You didn't even have her in the beginning!"

"That's not the point!" Spencer said animatedly. "Point is, don't be friends with someone with a mustache, or else they'll steal your girlfriend from you."

"Okay…" Carly laughed. "I'll keep that in mind. I don't want some hairy guy to steal my girlfriend."

"Exactly!" Spencer says as he stood up. "Wait..." He backtracked. "You have a girlfriend?"

"No!" Carly laughed as she kicked her brother in the butt.

The guy just knew how to cheer her up.

* * *

It was around 9:00 P.M. when Carly's Pear-phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered groggily. She had fallen asleep while doing her calculus homework an hour ago & she wasn't really in the mood to talk.

"Hello! Carly?" The person on the other end asked excitedly.

"Ummm… yeah?"

"It's Jackie!"

Carly rolled her eyes.

"What do you want Jackie?"

"Where are you?!" She screamed on the other line—disregarding the previous question.

"Ummm…" Carly looked around. "At home."

"What the hell? I'm five minutes away from your place! Dress-up!"

"But wai—"Jackie hung up the phone before Carly could protest.

'_Oh man.' _She thought tiredly as she walked over to her closet. _'This is probably about Erick's party. Jackie just doesn't know when to give up. What ever happened to no means no?'_

"Ugghh…" Carly groaned. _'This is gonna be a loooonnnggg night.'_

Jackie was at Carly's door five minutes later—knocking like there was no tomorrow.

"I'm coming!" Carly yelled—going down the stairs.

Spencer was in the kitchen & his face fell when he saw his sister.

Carly was dressed in a plaid mini-skirt & a black halter top that hugged her curves beautifully. Every thing about her just screamed 'I'm a woman here me roar!' & Spencer couldn't help but tear up.

Carly opened the door & was greeted by a very giddy Jackie.

"Wow! You're looking good!" the older girl screamed in delight as she grabbed Carly's hands. "Now C'mon, the party already started!"

Carly was being pulled outside so she could only mutter a small "Be back by 3!" at her older brother before she disappeared from his sight.

The door slams shut & Spencer is left alone. He lets out the tears he'd been holding & wailed.

"They grow up so fast!"He cried as he took out a pint of Ben & Jerry's & dove in. _'At least I still have you my chocolaty friend. You'll never leave me & go to stupid high school parties & grow up & get married & have kids &…' _Spencer stopped his train of thought when he realized he was making himself more depressed. The twenty year old sculptor curled up in a fetal position & turned on the T.V. _'Make me smile Oprah. Tell me things will be fine.'_

"_And now on the show, we have a special guest star. My very good friend… Dr. Phil!!!"_

'_**NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!**__'_

_

* * *

  
_

"Hey Freddie" Jennifer Alfred purred.

"Oh… um, hey Jen" He replied uncomfortably.

Freddie Benson was stationed at a corner—quietly watching people interact with each other while everyone else got drunk off their minds. He wasn't much of a dancer or a drinker so he was left out of most the party's activities. But still, he enjoyed being there. He found it mildly entertaining to see his peers do stupid things they would regret in the morning. He didn't mind being unaccompanied at all. So Freddie was mildly shocked when Jennifer came out of nowhere & started talking to him.

"So… why are you so alone here?" She asked, as she pulled on his letter jacket to steady herself. "We could you know, **do** stuff in one of the rooms, if you want."

"I think I'll take a rain check"

"It's raining?" She slurred—looking out a window. "It's not raining, you silly goose!"

Freddie could smell the alcohol in her breath. She was so drunk she couldn't even stand straight.

"C'mon Jen." He said pulling away from her. "You're drunk. Let me give you a ride home."

"What?" she laughed. "The party just started!"

"Yeah. I think you've partied enough."

"You're so funny!"

"I'm not joking, Jen. C'mon." He said as he grabbed her arm. He barely knew her but he felt obligated to make sure she was safe. Maybe it was signs of early fatherhood. Who knew? All Freddie knew himself, was that he wanted to see that she went home safely.

"Hey!" She half-yelled, pulling away. "You're not the boss of me!"

"I'm just looking out for your best interest!"

"My what?" She garbled.

"You're best inte—I just want to make sure you'd be okay!" He paraphrased.

"That's so sweet!" She squealed, catching him by the lips.

'_Ugh! She tastes like puke!' _He cringed, pushing her off him.

"Playing hard to get, are we?" She says seductively.

"No."

"Yeah right. You ssoooo want me." She says pulling him closer once more.

"Jen C'mon, you're drunk. Let me take you home."

"No! I wanna party!" She says like a spoiled little girl & Freddie finally gave up.

"Fine! Do whatever you want! See if I care!" He said as he took her hands off him & walked away.

"Where are you going!" She slurred behind him. Freddie just shook his head in disgust. _'I can't believe I lost my virginity to her.'_

He maneuvered through a throng of dancing students & sat down by Erick who was on his fifth beer.

"Hey Freddie man! Having a good time?" Erick slurred as he threw an arm around him.

"Not really." Freddie said back.

"Well my girl's coming & she's bringing a frriiieeenndd" He sing-songed.

"Yeah" Freddie replied uninterested.

Erick just smiled. "I think you'll like her"

"I doubt it." Freddie replies as a bunch of passing girls wink & giggle at his presence.

"You should trust me more."

"Whad'ya mean?" Freddie asked confused.

"Oh! There they are!" Erick said as he noticed his girlfriend go in through the double doors.

Freddie looked where he was pointing & grew mesmerized at the sight. There was Carly Shay, the girl he'd been in love with for years, standing at what seemed like the gates of heaven. She had on a skimpy black top & a short skirt that left Freddie speechless. _'I've never seen her so… sexy…'_

"Hey baby!" Jackie said as she made her way to Erick's lips.

"What took you so long?" He asked her.

"Traffic." She said with a smile.

"I hate traffic."

"Me too."

"It keeps you away from me" He said.

"I know." She said back.

They smile & kiss each other passionately—leaving a very uncomfortable Carly in the wake.

"Hey" Freddie said as he gathered his bearings and neared her form.

"Freddie!" Carly said as she hugged him, obviously relieved. "I thought I was alone here!"

"No. I'm here too." He says with a smile.

"Good! I don't really like these types of parties!" She says loudly—the music had just gotten louder & it was getting extra hard to talk.

"C'mon!" He said through the music—grabbing Carly's hand. "Let's go to the backyard!"

"Okay!" She yelled back. "Anywhere I could hear myself would be great!"

The pair zigzagged through crowds of horny, drunken teens—glad they found each other in the mess of hormones, eating disorders & massive egos.

Because a high school party is a place you _**never**_ want to get lost in.

* * *

Alex drove towards Arena with an excited smile on his face. Sam just looked at his happy expression & rolled her eyes. _'I can't believe I'm wearing this.'_

They had gone to his room—which turned out to be just above the shop—and picked out what they'd wear. Alex had surprised her with a tight red dress from his closet. "Why do you have women's clothing?" She remembered saying. "Oh! I like to dress in drag sometimes. I make a really pretty girl." He said as he fluttered his eyelashes. "Oh my God. You are so gay!" She had laughed. "Oh, you know it!" He yelled proudly.

Sam now sat in his electric blue Prius wondering why she had decided to come along while a concerned Alex nudged her on the shoulder.

"You'll have fun. I promise." He said with a smile.

"I've never even been in a club before, much less a **gay** one."

"I'm pretty sure you'll love it!"

"I'm not even out of the closet yet!" Sam said as she rubbed her forehead in frustration. _'I knew this was a bad idea!'_

"Don't worry about it!" He said giving her a reassuring smile. "Once you're there you won't feel so abnormal. You'll be with people who went through the same thing!"

Sam sighed. "If you say so…"

"Trust me." Alex smiled. "It'll free you."

* * *

The club was thriving with music & Sam couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. There were about four podiums where shirtless guys & a few girls grinded with each other. The sidelines where packed with same-sex couples making out & some girls giving each other lap dances. _'I just died & went to gay heaven' _Sam thought as Alex took her by the hand & dragged her to an awaiting group of people.

"Hey guys!" He yelled through the music. "This is Sam!"

"Hey!" They said simultaneously.

"Sam this is Tweet, Edgar, Sasha & Cohen!" Alex says with a smile.

"Umm, hey" Sam said awkwardly as she gave them a lazy wave.

"Oh my God. She's sooo hot!" Sasha gushed & Sam just blushed in reply.

'_Did she just call me hot?' _

"Pardon, Sasha here." Cohen said as she grabbed her shorter friend by the shirt. "She's a total horn dog."

"I am not!" Sasha said defensively & the group of teens just laughed.

Tweet was dressed in drag & Sam had to admit he looked good. He was in red stilettos & a tight fitting dress that flattered his somewhat slim form. Edgar on the other hand, was well chiseled. He was dressed in a torn ACDC shirt, skinny jeans & flaunted about three silver studs on his brow. The third of the group, Sasha, was short & petite. She stood at about 5'3" with a bleach blonde pixie cut & big baby blues eyes that just made you want to squeeze her silly. The fourth & last was Cohen. She was Sasha's polar opposite. She stood at about 5'11" with a fiery red Mohawk, thick rimmed glasses & a Bikini Kill T-shirt that just demanded your attention.

'_Yup. They're __**definitely**__ Alex's friends.' _Sam thought.

The group's pleasant mood soon vanished after a passing guy bumped Tweet on the shoulder. He had just looked back & laughed when he saw that Tweet almost fell over his high heels.

"Who the fuck was that?!" Tweet yelled & the guy turned around with a smile. "How hard is it to say excuse me, _**pendejo**_! Don't make me go there & bitch slap you!"

"Say sorry you dumb fuck!" Sasha interjected while Cohen started lifting her sleeves—getting ready for a fight.

"What? You want a black eye or something?!" Edgar then yelled & that's when the guy's smile visibly fell. Edgar was tall & toned and looked pretty damn menacing when angry.

The poor guy could only stutter a weak "S-sorry!" as he swiftly walked the opposite direction.

"Yeah you better run asshole!" Tweet yelled after him.

"I was about to punch that guy's lights out." Edgar said seriously while Sasha complimented Cohen on her biceps.

Alex just shook his head disapprovingly. "You guys are so confrontational…" and Sam couldn't help but laugh.

'_I think I'm __**really**__ going to like this group.'_

"We didn't scare you off did we?" Cohen suddenly asked Sam, worried.

"No." Sam smiled. "Not at all."

"Good. Cuz you seem really cool." Edgar said with a grin.

"Yeah. Any friend of Alex is a friend of ours." Tweet said as he gave Sam his hand.

"Welcome to the group!" Sasha said beaming with unbridled joy as Sam & Tweet shook hands.

"Yay!" She screamed as she glomped a very surprised Sam.

"Get off her Sash!" Cohen said as she tried to pull the tiny devil off the group's new member.

"Nooo!" Sasha yelled cutely as she hugged Sam like a baby Koala bear.

"_I really shouldn't be enjoying this.'_ Sam thought as face grew beet red. She could hear Alex laughing hysterically in the background & she couldn't wait to get her hands on him.

'_I'm gonna kill you Alex! Just you wait!'_

_

* * *

  
_

"It's really nice out here" Carly commented as she looked up at the stars.

"Yeah. It's really beautiful." Freddie said in agreement, although his eyes had never left Carly's face.

Star gazing had always cheered her up. Since she was a kid, Spencer & her would sneak out to the roof-top & watch the stars shine. They would make a wish every time one would fall & smile when one would change colors. Some might call it childish or immature but Carly could've cared less. It was just as her great grandfather had put it years ago. _"No diamond can outlast a Shay's love." _And boy was that true.

Carly's mood soon deflated as she looked back down. They were at the swing set at Erick's back yard & a handful of students were getting high by the Merry-Go-Round. Some were having sex in the bushes & a few were puking their guts out by the stairs.

'_And they call us the leaders of tomorrow.'_ Carly thought sadly.

Freddy saw Carly's troubled expression & grew worried.

"What's wrong?" he asked sincerely.

"Sam & I had a fight." She said as she looked at her shoes.

"Really?" He asked surprised.

"Yup." She said mournfully.

"Do you want me to tie her hair in a ponytail & start pulling on it again?" He asked with a grin.

"No." Carly said, a small smile forming on her face.

"You sure? Cuz I still have the equipment."

"Yes Freddie. I'm sure." She says, amused.

"O.k. then, just checking."

Carly smiled at him & looked at the ground. Her chocolate locks dangled beautifully against her alabaster skin, while she picked at the weeds below her feet. Freddie gulped as he caught a flash of cleavage from where Carly was bent. _'They look so soft...' _He couldn't help but think, right before Carly went back up to face him.

"Freddie?"

"U—wha?" He said, quickly shifting his line of vision.

"Is there anything to drink around here that's not a Budweiser?"

"Ummm… yeah." He said, as he regained his composure. "There are sodas in the fridge. Do you want one?"

"I'm kind of thirsty." She said with a smile.

"Alright. You stay here while I go get one. What kind do you want?" He said as he stood up.

"Umm a Mr. Pibb would be nice."

"Gotcha. I'll be right back!" He said as he jogged the short expanse of the lawn towards the house.

Carly sighed once more when Freddie was out of sight. _'I wonder if she'll pick up if I call her & apologize.'_

"Wait a minute! Why should _**I**_ apologize?" She asked herself.

'_Because you came in there unannounced & acted like she owed you an explanation.' _Her conscience quipped.

'_Oh, right.' _She thought as she began to fish her phone out of her purse

"Hey there..." A deep voice made Carly jump.

'_What the—'_

"James?" She squinted as the buff outline of one Mr. Jameson McElroy came into view.

"What are you doing here all by yourself?" He asked with a grin.

"Ummm… I'm actually waiting for Freddie to come back." She said casually. She had Elroy for French & Calculus so she was pretty much at ease with his presence.

"Where'd he go?" He asked as he looked around.

"He went to the kitchen to get me a drink."

"That's nice of him."

"Um, yeah. I guess it is."

"Hey… listen." He started, as he reached into his back pocket. "Do you know what we have to do here?"

Carly squinted her eyes to see what was written down & recognized it to be none other than the worksheet their teacher had given them for math.

"I was actually just doing this before I got here!" She laughed.

"Wow. That's convenient!" He said with a smile. "Think you could help me out?"

"Umm… sure. I've got nothing else better to do." Carly shrugged as she grabbed the piece of paper & headed near a lamp post.

"Do you have a pencil?" She asked James who looked at her blankly.

"Holy crap! I totally forgot one!" He said as he patted his pants.

"You brought your homework but you didn't bring a pencil?" Carly chuckled.

"Hey. There's no need to be mean about it!" He said mock pain—holding his chest like her words just wounded his heart.

"Sorry" She smiled.

"I'm pretty sure I have a pen at my truck." He says. "It's just right over there, wanna walk with me?"

Carly looks where he's pointing & sees a white F-150 not very far from the yard, she looks at the door Freddie had went in through & back at the swing. _'I'll be back before he starts to worry.' _She thought as she walked with James to his car.

The pair reached their destination & James opened the door—swiftly getting in to check the glove compartment.

"I found one!" He said excitedly as he reached his hand over to Carly. "Help me get up" He said & Carly gave him her hand.

Time came & went in a blur when Carly found herself pulled into the driver's seat. James had her pinned down on her wrists while he straddled her waist.

"You know how long I've wanted to fuck you?!" He said with a smile.

"Too long" He added as he licked her face. "I'm gonna make you mine Carly Shay. Whether you want it or not."

* * *

_**DUN-DUN-DUN!!!**_

_**A/N:**__ What will James do to Carly? Can she get away? Will Sam ever tell her how she feels? Will Freddie beat her to the punch? Or does this story end here?_

_**Wannabe Critic**__= You know it's funny that you say that because I live in California & my high school experience was even worse (and a lot more fun) than this story. I won't go into details but let's just say this is child's play compared to the real thing. Oh! & yeah they give out free condoms at the nurse's office! ^_^_

_**On a side note**__: Middle school was wilder. __**O.O  
**_

_**Thank you all for the very kind reviews.^_^**_

_**Now then, review more! BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ***chokes* __**,**_

_Extras: Arena is an actual club in Hollywood my friends and I frequent on Gay Wednesdays. (I really ought to get paid for saying that. =_=)Anyways, I wrote the club scene with it in mind.  
_


	5. And The Craziness Begins

**iFucking Hate Puberty**

**V

* * *

  
**

Carly Shay was pinned and helpless against James' ruthless assault. She could vaguely see his ginning face as he forcibly tore her top.

"Damn… I don't think you know how hot you are." He said through his teeth, as he began ripping Carly's Bra.

"St-stop… Please stop…" Carly could only mutter through her tears. _'Why is this happening?'_

"Ooooooh, I love it when they play hard to get!" He laughed as he began unbuckling his pants.

Carly could only take so much. She began hitting him with all the force she had, but it only made him laugh louder.

"You're soooo cute." He smirked as he bit into her ear.

"AAAHHHH!!!!" She yelled in pain as James licked his bloody lips.

"Scream louder baby, you know I like it!" He laughed as he began riding her.

"**STOP!!! HELP **_**ANYONE**_** PLEASE!"**

"Yeah, just like that!" He grinned as he began lifting her skirt.

"**Please…" **She cried. "**Anyone… please help me."**

She could feel his erect member rubbing against her thigh as she tried to push him off. _'I think I'm gonna be sick'_

Carly Shay gagged & threw up all over James car, which infuriated him beyond belief.

"What the fuck did you just do!?" He yelled as he smacked her tear soaked face.

Carly could only shriek in pain as he began to hit her repeatedly. She tried to shield the abuse with her arms, but it only took so long when they began to turn into different shades of blue.

"You fucking cunt! You know how much I spent for this car!?" He yelled like a raving lunatic while he brutally punched the helpless girl.

"Now you're going to get it Shay_. _You're gonna fucking get _**it**_."

* * *

It was midnight & Arena was alive with music. The club's pumping beat left its populace intoxicated in a drug-like trance. The booming bass enveloped Sam Puckett as she danced with Alex's crew. _'He was right. It does set me free.' _She thought as Sasha began to grind against her.

"Dance with me?" She said with big puppy dog eyes & Sam couldn't help but laugh.

"Sure" She said & Sasha beamed with unbridled joy.

'_How adorable can this girl get?'_

The pair danced oblivious to everyone else & Alex couldn't help but grin.

"You set this up didn't you?" Edgar said smiling.

"What?" Alex stared with wide eyes. "I did no such thing!"

"Yeah, right." Edgar replied with a knowing grin. "I've known you long enough to know nothing's ever a coincidence when you're involved"

Alex couldn't help but smile.

"She's been in the dumps lately." He began & Edgar nodded his head in understanding.

"You thought whoever better to cheer someone up that Sash right?"

"Exactly!" Alex beamed. If anyone in their group knew how to make someone smile, it would be the lovable Sasha David. She was bubbly, sweet & adorable beyond words.

"It looks like your plan's working" Edgar said as he watched the dancing couple.

"Of course it is!" Alex replied. "I made it didn't I?"

"You're awfully conceited today."

"Nah. Just honest."

"Ahhh, of course." Edgar laughed wholeheartedly, showing his cute dimples & Alex couldn't help but blush.

'_God, he's gorgeous.'_

_

* * *

  
_

Freddie shook his head as he walked outside. A group of half-drunk girls had lassoed him into a conversation & he thanked God he was finally able to leave. _'I hope I didn't make Carly wait too long' _He thought as he looked at the cold can of Mr. Pibb he got for her.

'_It's now or never' _

Fredward Benson had made a promise. Today was the day he would finally ask her out. _'It's been years since middle school… I'm different now. I'm… better. I hope she see's that'_

He walked towards the swing set he saw her last & noticed she was nowhere to be found.

'_What the?'_

"Hey" He said as he neared a group of stoned teens by the carousel. "Have any of you seen Carly?"

They looked at him blankly for a second or two before one of them decided to speak.

"What?" He drawled as he took a hit off the rotation.

"Have any of you guys seen Carly?" Freddie said again, becoming increasingly worried.

"Ummmm" The boy said as he inhaled. Freddie looked at him expectantly but the boy said nothing more.

"Ummmmm, what?" He asked, getting agitated.

The stoned teen let out the smoke he'd been holding in & passed the roach counter clock-wise.

"I saw her with…" He stopped—trying to get his mind straightened out for even a second. "Some buff dude."

"…some buff dude?" Freddie asked, obviously confused.

"His names James…" A girl piped up. "James McElroy…"

"_**WHAT?!**_" He yelled while the group of stoners looked at him like he grew a second head.

He knew James. Oh yeah, he knew him well. The boy had quite the reputation around the team. He would often slip roofies into girls' drinks & sleep with them with a camera filming the whole deed. He was _**'the man'**_ as Jake would kindly put it. It repulsed Freddie to death that such people could even exist.

…and now he has Carly.

Freddie couldn't breathe. The world seemed to be spinning wildly as he tried to calm his racing heart. _'Oh God, not now!' _he thought as felt the beginnings of a panic attack. He looked at the blazed out teens & muttered the first words he could think of.

"_**Where is she?" **_

The group looked at each other in quiet inquiry, seeing if this was a mess they wanted to get involved in. A silent decision seemed to have been made, when they directed their eyes towards him.

"His car." A girl said. "I saw her go with him to his car."

"_**Do you know where it is?"**_

She nodded her head & pointed west. "The white truck"

And with those three words Freddie raced the expanse of the field. His heart was in overdrive & he couldn't help but blame himself.

'_**Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!**__ Why did I leave her alone!? I know how bad some of these people are! __**Why did I do it!?"**_

He stopped by the parking lot, too fazed to even notice the looks passer-by's gave him. He scanned the concrete jungle in a mad dash, his adrenalin being pumped in full force. It wasn't until he heard a muffled scream that he stopped.

'_**CARLY!'**_

He thought as he ran towards a much darker area of the estate. It was strewn with overgrown weeds & ivy long left astray. It was there that he saw it. The dreaded white truck parked at the edge.

Fredward Benson never ran so fast in his entire life. In fact he never felt fear like this, in his entire life. He was trembling from head to toe. From anger. From panic. From love. From the unknown. All he knew was that he was getting the girl he loved back. Even if it cost him his life.

* * *

"**Stop!" **Carly yelled as she felt blood trickle down her face.

"What did you say?" James said mockingly, a smile again forming in his face.

"She told you to stop." A voice said from the door. It was then that Carly turned her head & saw Freddie. She never saw him so mad in her life. His face was beet red & his palm was clutched so tight she wouldn't be surprised if they began bleeding.

"Hohoho, if it isn't Freddie-boy" James laughed. "What you gonna do? Beat me up & save your little _girlfriend_."

"Yeah. Pretty much." Freddie said a matter-a-factly as he reached out & punched the assailant square in the face.

James was blown backwards as he screamed in pain. His nose was broken & the blood was going everywhere.

"C'mon Carly" Freddie said as he lifted her off the car seat. She had her legs on his arm & her head on the other.

"You came for me." She said in tears.

"Of course I did." He said with a sad smile. "I'm so sorry"

"It's not your fault" She said & Freddie felt like crying.

Here was the love of his life, beaten black & blue because of him. If he hadn't left her… if he hadn't taken so long… this would never have happened. He walked away from the truck with her on his arms.

'_I have to get her to a hospital'_

He could barely hear the rev of an engine, as he looked at her beaten form. James had quickly driven away, a hand on his bloody nose & a gaze that could kill.

"This isn't over!" He had yelled & Freddie could only scoff in anger.

'_You bet it isn't, you fucking bastard.'_

Things have only just begun.

* * *

Spencer awoke in a fluster at a loud banging on the front door. He looked at his clock & it read 1:30 A.M. Carly had a key & she usually phoned him if she ever forgot it so he was sure it wasn't his little sister. The banging continued & it startled him so much he fell out of bed & hit one of his pointier statues.

"Owww! Why do I even keep that there!?" He yelled as the banging continued.

"Okay! Okay! Hold your horses!" he hollered as he ran towards the door in his duck pajamas. _'I hope it's not Mrs. Benson again. What is with that woman & grilled cheese?!'_

Spencer's reverie was cut short when the banging grew even louder.

He opened the door in a quickly & yelled.

"It's one in the morning what do you wa—!"

In front of him stood a disheveled Freddie who had his arm wrapped around Carly's shoulders—helping her walk. She had fresh bruises all over her arms, a red bump on her jaw, a black eye & a busted lip. She had blood trickling from a few cuts on her face & she could barely stand. Spencer's heart went to overdrive as he raised his hand to cup her cheek—seeing if she was real & wasn't just some horrid nightmare.

"She didn't want to go to the hospital." Freddie said with a troubled expression.

"**What happened?" **Spencer asked as anger seethed through his teeth. He was going to kill whoever did this.

Freddie was about to tell Spencer what happened until a weak Carly nudged him. They had conversed in the car before they got here. He told her to file charges but she said she didn't want to do that. Freddie had adamantly argued against it until he realized she didn't even want to talk about the incident. She wanted to forget everything.

It was a coping mechanism.

She didn't want to acknowledge anything, make it any more _**real**_ than it already was. She didn't want anyone else knowing or talking about what happened. She just wanted to come home. Home was safe. And safe was good.

"You should have seen the other guy." She said with a weak smile.

"**Carly. This isn't a joke. Who did this to you?"** Spencer asked seriously.

She could see the fire burning in his eyes. She's never seen him this mad before. He looked ready to kill.

"A-a couple of g-girls at the party" She stuttered while Freddie looked at her disapprovingly.

"**What are their names?"** Spencer asked. He was going to hunt these girls down.

"I-I don't know. I think they're from a different school." Carly lied while Spencer shifted his eyes to Freddie.

"**Do you know who they are?"**

Freddie looked from Spencer to Carly. She had a pleading expression on her face, asking—**no—**_begging,_ him not to tell. He wanted nothing more than to see James burn for what he did & tried to do, but the look on Carly's face made him think different. So Freddie Benson threw logic aside & yielded to her wishes.

"No." He said. "They ran when I went to get Carly."

Spencer didn't know what to do with his anger. He looked at his beaten sister & felt even more enraged. _'You need to calm down. She needs you now more than ever. She needs to know you're not mad at __**her **__but the people who did this.' _His conscience instructed. _"Breathe."_

Spencer closed his eyes & began to breathe—slowly regaining control. He looked at his sister once more & decided what he had to do.

"I'm going to call the cops. You can I.D. them."

"_**No!" **_She yelled as she grabbed him by his shirt to steady herself.

"Please. Don't."

"But Carly they have to answ—"

"I just want to be home." She began—cutting him short. "I don't want to deal with anything. I just want to rest."

Spencer nodded his head in understanding as he took her into his arms.

"Let's get you cleaned up kiddo." He said as he kissed the top of her head & Carly Shay couldn't help but cry.

* * *

Sam was in a table at the Louvre, smiling at the exchange between Sasha & Cohen. They had decided to call it a night at 2:00 A.M.—when the club began to close—and have a night cap at Alex's place.

"No you didn't" Cohen said dubiously as she took a sip off her latte.

"Yes I did!" Sasha countered & looked at the rest of the group for support.

"I'm sorry Sash." Edgar started with a smile. "I really doubt you fucked Hailey Brown."

"But I did!" She said defensively & everyone couldn't help but laugh.

"You're telling me you slept with one of Ridgeway's straighter-than-though cheerleaders?" Tweet said. "I'm sorry sweetie, but I just don't believe you."

Sasha looked like a lost puppy when she shifted her eyes to Sam.

"You believe me, don't you?" She said with the cutest pout in the world.

"Yeah." Sam smiled. "Why not?"

"Yay!" Sasha squealed as she took the older girl in a bear hug.

"She's just being nice." Cohen said as she waved her hand dismissively.

Sasha just stuck out her tongue in refute.

"Oh yeah. That's mature."

The group burst into laughter once again while Sam remained in a rib crushing squeeze.

'_Can't… breathe… must… get… air…'_

Thankfully the door to the shop opened & Sasha's attention was fully shifted towards who entered. Sam knew the shop was closed at this hour & Alex had a key so they had been able to get in. So needless to say Sam's curiosity was peaked as she saw Cohen & Sasha in some weird trance at whoever just entered.

She followed their line of vision to find a gorgeous brunette with full ruby lips, bright purple eyes & a body that just screamed _'eat me'. _She had a man on her arm that was equally attractive—tall and built with long jet-black hair—he had an air about him that said _'I'm better than any of you'_. He was probably in his twenties while the girl he was with looked just a year or two over Sam's age.

She approached the table with a smile when she noticed they were there & Sam had to hold in a laugh at Cohen & Sasha's expression. They looked like they just went to heaven & didn't know what the hell they were doing there.

"Hey guys." She said with a friendly smile & Sasha stumbled on a reply while Cohen stayed silent. Edgar & Tweet had no problems though as they stood up & hugged her.

"Good to see you Ice" They said simultaneously as they sat back down.

"Yeah" She smiled. "It's been awhile."

"Well, I see you've been busy" Tweet winked as he pointed a painted nail at the guy she was with.

The man blushed & looked at his date.

"I have to get going." He said, as he kissed her cheek. "I'll call you later?"

"Yeah. Sure." She said waving him goodbye.

Alex was silent during the whole exchange & Sam looked at him worriedly.

'_Who is that girl?'_

It didn't take so long when she got her answer when the young woman pinched Alex's cheeks—making his squeal in a mixture of pain & embarrassment.

"Stop doing that, it hurts!" He said as he rubbed the redness on his face.

"But I'm happy to see you!" She said with a smile.

"I see you everyday!" He countered.

"Well, you're always out with friends I never get to talk to you anymore!" She says in mock sadness.

"We can stop being friends with him!" Sasha piped up & Cohen could only shake her head in shame. _'Oh my God…'_

'Ice' just laughed while Alex looked at her unbelievably.

"You don't have to do that Sash. But I'm grateful for the offer." She winked & the poor girl turned beet red.

'_I think she just joy-gasmed' _Sam thought.

"Anyways, what you guys doing up so late?"

"We went out clubbing." Edgar said with a smile.

"Ahhhh… of course." She said, shifting her attention to Alex.

"How come you never invite me?"

He took a sip off his coffee & replied monotonously.

"Because you're annoying."

"Hey!" She scolded as she smacked him on the head.

"Owww!"

"You don't talk to you're elders like that."

"We're two years apart!" He said incredulously.

"It still makes me your senior." She says a-matter-a-factly & Sam couldn't help but smile.

'_I can see how they're related.'_

"What are you doing here anyways?" Alex asked annoyed.

"What do you mean? I **live** here."

"You know what I mean!"

"I just came home from a date."

"At three in the morning?" He asked with a raised brow.

"What are you insinuating?"

"That you're a whore."

Ice hit him on the head once more & Edgar laughed. "Dude, that's no way to talk to your sister."

"Thank you Eddie." She smiled. "At least _**someone**_ here knows how to treat a lady." She drawled, looking straight at Alex.

"I know how to treat a lady!" Sasha piped up again while Cohen buried her head on the table. _'Doesn't she know the meaning of subtlety?'_

Sam watched the whole exchange & couldn't help but let out the laugh she'd been holding. _'Oh God, these two are priceless.'_

That's when Ice noticed the group's new-comer. Sam had her back turned & had been quiet the whole time so she'd been quite easy to miss.

"Hey Lexy, who's your new friend?" She asked while she playfully poked her little brother's cheek.

"I told you to not call me that in public!" He said with a blush.

"Oh come, on. You know you looooovvveee it."

"No I don't!" He said irritated, as he swatted her hand away from his face. "Anyways, this is Sam."

"Sam?" She asked.

"Yup." Alex said.

"Last name?"

"Does it even matter?" He said agitatedly.

"It matters to me." She countered.

"What! Why?"

"Because."

"Whad'ya mean _because_?"

"I can't just know her first name." She said a-matter-a-factly & she looked at him as though he was stupid. That's when Alex exploded.

"What's the difference?! You won't be calling her by her full name!" He half-shouted in pure aggravation, which then seemed to magically transfer itself to his sister.

"It makes a whole difference!"

"_**Why?!**_"

"I know a lot of Sams!"

"No you don't!"

"I know two!"

"Two is not a lot of Sams!"

"It is when they're twins!"

"Twins can't both be named Sam!"

"If you're dad was drunk when he signed the birth certificate, it can happen!"

"**You're unbelievable!"**

"**You're **_**annoying**_**!"**

The sibling banter then stopped when Sam spoke up.

"It's Puckett" She said. "My last name's Puckett."

"That wasn't that hard was it?" Ice said to her brother while he just scoffed in reply.

"Sam." He started, tiredly. "This is my frustrating sister Iris, hence the nickname 'Eyes'."

'_Oh, it was Eyes… sounded like Ice to me'_

"Iris, this is Sam. Sam **Puckett**." He emphasized the last word as he looked at his sibling in annoyance.

She merely shrugged it off as she extended her hand to the newcomer.

"Nice to meet you." She said with a smile.

Sam saw her hand & turned around.

"Nice to meet you too." Sam said nonchalantly as she shook her hand.

Iris was speechless. The girl in front of her had light blond locks, piercing blue eyes & and looks that could kill. Everything about her just screamed _'Don't mess with me' _& Iris 'Eyes' Delarge was instantly enthralled.

"H-hi" She stuttered, letting go of her hand.

"Ummm… Hey." Sam replied as she waved weakly.

"Okay you've met her, can you leave us now?" Alex interjected & broke his sister's trance.

"Oh, yeah." She said, still a bit out of sorts.

"Good."

"Ummm, I'll see you guys." She said as she looked at the group, lingering a second longer at Sam.

"Bye." The group said simultaneously as she walked up the stairs.

"She's sooooo hot!" Sasha said excitedly when Eyes was out of ear shot.

"Yeah. We know you think so. Everyone did, including her." Cohen said a-matter-a-factly.

"Whatever!" Sasha countered. "She winked at me!"

"Yeah that's because you're an idio—"

Sam drowned out the two girl's upcoming argument as she shifted her attention to Alex.

"You okay? You seemed really angry."

Alex looked at her & smiled weakly. "Yeah, she just get's on my nerves sometimes."

"You'll get used to it." Edgar interjected. "They always do that. Sibling rivalry thing."

"Ah, okay." Sam didn't have any siblings with the exception of Melanie who she rarely saw. So she had no idea how a normal family worked—well, semi-normal anyways. All she had to compare their relationship with was Carly & Spencer's.

'_But then again Spencer & Carly are years apart so I guess it's different.'_

She looked at Alex's face & cringed.

'_It looks like a total pain.'_

A few awkward moments later, the group began where they left off—grilling Sasha about her supposed affairs. It took Alex's mind off of things, kept Cohen from killing Sash & kept Sam from thinking of Carly. Everything was back to normal.

Well, kind of.

Tweet had noticed the look on Eyes' face when she saw Sam & couldn't help but smile. The group hadn't caught it, but _he_ did. Alex was busy being annoyed, Edgar was preoccupied with putting the right amount of cream in his coffee and Sasha & Cohen were too busy well… being horny. _'There's something going on there' _He thought to as he took a sip of his green tea latte. _'For once, Iris is the one who got flustered.'_

'_This is going to be an interesting year…'_

…And none of them knew how prophetic that statement truly was...

* * *

_**A/N:**_ _Some people may get turned off by the number of original characters I have in this story. I just feel like the show doesn't have enough characters for me to play with & a huge part of growing up is meeting new & interesting people. ^_^ _

_I mean, how many people do you know in your life? There's always someone you like, hate, find disgusting, annoying, hot & so forth. So I wanted to make it a bit more realistic. The world doesn't revolve around the three of them, after all. _

_The actual story has yet to begin! I'm only setting things up. Like I said, this is going to be a loooooongg ride. There will be a **LOT **of sex, experimental drug-use, drama, crazy events, more sex, Rock'n'Roll, hot girls, hot guys, bullies & did I mention sex? _**--,--**_  
_

_Oh! & sorry for the delay I just got an Xbox 360 Pro & I've been gaming like a __**madman**__. _**O.O**


	6. Rumors & Massacres

**iFucking Hate Puberty**

**VI**

**

* * *

**

_A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter took so long. I just came back from a week long road-trip to San Fransisco. Anyways, enjoy the read! __^_^_

* * *

It was Monday morning & Sam Puckett got a call to go to class. It seemed that Carly had gone out of her way & talked to Mr. Franklin. She was able to lessen the month long community service to a week & was also able to get her best friend out of suspension.

Sam had never felt so guilty in her life.

'_She did all that & I blew up at her. I'm __**the**__ worst friend ever.'_ She thought morosely as she looked at the ground. Her room was a mess. There were dirty clothes scattered all over the floor. Her bed hadn't been made in about a week & her room was starting to smell like the faint beginnings of rotten cheese.

'_I should really clean up this place...' _She thought, as she raised her head & saw the mess in its entirety.

'…_maybe some other time…'_

Sam's internal reverie was cut short when her PearPhone blasted through her mattress.

'_Tear it off, I wanna feel your skin.  
Take a bite, you know it's not a sin._

_Woah oh, oh! I can't say no!  
I lose control cause with you I'm like an animal!_

_Woah oh, oh! I can't say no!  
I lose control cause with you I'm like an animal'_

Sam's face grew beat red as she rummaged the sheets for her phone.

'_Oh God, I knew I shouldn't have let Alex borrow my cell!'_

The night before, he had asked if he could see her phone & went crazy when he noticed she had a three-ring beep instead of a song for her ring tone.

'_Oh my God! What are you? In the freaking nineties?!' _ He had asked incredulously & Sam just shrugged in reply.

'_It's a pain to look for one.' _

'_Then I'll just get one that's perfect for you!' _He had said excitedly & she just let him do whatever he wanted.

'_Damn that was a __**stupid**__ idea!' _She thought as she looked at the phone's screen.

Ultra Violence

'_Speak of the devil.'_

"Alex!" She screamed. "What the hell?!"

"I see you've heard your new ring tone." Sam didn't have to see him to know he was smiling widely.

"Ummm, yeah. Not funny."

"What? I think it's perfect!" He gushed.

"No. It's torture." _'Which part of in the closet doesn't he understand?'_

"Well anyways, I'm at the front of your house."

"Okay. Let me just get my shoes."

Earlier that day she had asked him if he could give her a ride & he just squealed _"I'd love to!" _But now Sam was seriously regretting that decision. She knew that once she got in that car, Alex was going to start grilling her about Carly. And right now, Carly was something she did not want talking about.

'_I still have to apologize though…"_

Sam Puckett sighed apprehensively.

'_This is gonna be a looooong day."_

_

* * *

  
_

Freddie entered the gates to school with a frown. He had tried to stay with Carly throughout the weekend but Spencer told him she just wanted to be alone. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to kill James for what he did, but he knew the older boy had pretty strong friends & McElroy was twice as big as himself. That guy was a freaking truck.

Freddie wanted so bad to be that knight in shinning armor but he knew James could rip him to shreds. That & he couldn't draw any attention to why he was doing it. Carly was upset enough. _'I don't think she wants the whole school knowing about what happened.'_

So Freward Benson was stuck in a crossroads.

"Hey Freddo!" Someone yelled from behind him & Freddie didn't have to look back to know who it was.

Jake Krandle—_self-proclaimed ladies-extraordinaire_—had jogged up to his side.

"Hey Jake." Freddie greeted half-heartedly.

"I heard you came home with Carly at the party." He stated, cutting right to the point.

"Yeah. So?" Freddie asked. He knew where this was going & he just wanted to get it over with. He already had a wreck of a morning & talking to Jake was never pleasant. It was like an inevitable car-crash where the only thing you can do is cover your eyes & hope it won't kill you.

"Well…" Jake smirked. "You fuck her?"

Freddie couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"I take that as a no then?" Jake said as his smirk grew even wider.

"Why does it even matter to you?"

"Cuz. I gotta have first dibs."

"Excuse me?" Freddie stopped walking as he gave Jake his full attention. They were at the school hallways & Jake was grinning at him like a rabbit on steroids.

"C'mon dude. She's fresh meat. You know how tight she would be?"

Freddie was pissed. After what James tried to do, this asshole was telling him how he wanted the same thing as well? He just wanted to bash his head against the lockers.

"**Don't talk about her like that**." Freddie said warningly. Jake just looked at his clenched fists & smiled.

"What are you gonna do about it Freddie-boy?"

Freddie looked at his grinning face & cringed. He was trying to provoke him. He knew Jake never liked him to begin with & now was his chance to show it. So Freddie took a deep breath & started walking away. He could hear Jake laugh behind him.

"You're a fucking pussy Benson!" He said through his fit of laughter & Freddie could only frown.

'_I __**am**__ a fucking pussy.' _He thought as he walked away.

'_I'm a fucking coward.'_

_

* * *

  
_

It was nutrition & Carly was nowhere to be found. Sam didn't know whether she should be glad or disappointed. Carly never misses school unless she's incredibly sick & it worried Sam beyond belief.

'_I hope she's okay…'_

"Sam!" Someone squealed from behind her & it was no surprise when an over-zealous Sasha glomped her.

"Ahhh!" She half-screamed before an embarrassed Cohen pried the younger girl off her.

"What did I say about hugging people out of nowhere?" Cohen started, while Sasha looked at the taller girl like she just caught her hand in the cookie jar.

"That… it borders towards sexual harassment?"

"Exactly. Now, be normal for once & say hi like a human being."

Sasha looked at her feet & raised her hand. "Hi Sam, I'm Sasha!"

"You're saying hi, not introducing yourself doofus."

"Heyyy, that's mean!" She said to the taller girl.

"No. It's true."

Sam couldn't help but smile at the pair's banter. It amused her to no end.

'_Why their friends to begin with. I have __**no**__ idea.'_

Sasha was clad in an oversized hot pink sweater, skinny jeans & pink converses that made her look adorable beyond words. Cohen on the other hand was wearing her trademark fire red Mohawk, a tight fitting "McLovin" Tee & ripped boot-cut jeans. The pair looked so mismatched it was hilarious.

'_Come to think of it. I've never hanged around them in school before.'_

"Hey ladies, up to the usual?" A deep voice boomed from behind them. Sam spun to see a rather dare-she-say _**beautiful**_ young man. Edgar joined them with his trademark smile, a tight fitting Pink Floyd shirt & black skin-tight jeans. Sam had to admit, the boy was _**fine**_.

It took a mere second before Sasha glomped the living daylights out of him. But unlike Sam's reaction, Edgar just laughed & returned the embrace.

"Isn't it a little bit early to start fighting?" He asked & Sasha agreed animatedly.

"It is. But Cohen's being a total meanie!"

"I am not."

"Yes you are!"

"Prove it."

"Whadya mean prove it!? I—"

Sam's attention was shifted when she realized Edgar had stepped right in front of her.

"Morning Sam" He greeted with a smile.

"Umm, morning." She replied, not used to this much attention. Typically it was just her, Carly & Freddie. The whole big group of friends' thing was still new to her. Not to mention the fact that these guys were _incredibly_ different from Carly & Freddie. They were open, gay & totally out there.

'_It's kind of refreshing, actually.' _She thought as she watched Alex come back from the water fountain to greet Edgar.

'_You never know what to expect. There's always something new going on.'_

Sam didn't know how true her words were when an Abercrombie-esque pretty boy walked up to their group. He had shoulder length raven hair that curled at the tip, a blue collared Lacoste top & jeans that must've cost hundreds of dollars. Sam had no idea why he was even heading their direction.

'_Is there a Brooks Brother sale going on behind me?'_

"Hey guys." The pretty boy drawled, catching Sasha's attention.

"Tweet!" She yelled as she flew in for a hug. Cohen said hi along with the others while Sam was left with her jaw on the floor.

'_Tweet?! What?! Where? __**Eh?!**__'_

"Oh, hey Sammy" Tweet said when he noticed her standing there. Sam was speechless & Alex couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"I think I just stepped into the Twilight Zone" She murmured to herself while a very manly Tweet smiled at her reaction.

"You're in boy clothes!" Sam half-yelled in shock.

"Well, yeah. I don't wear dresses to school." He replied as though it were obvious.

"Wha—Why?"

"Cuz I don't like to get beaten to a pulp everyday of my life."

"Oh." This was Sam's first time hearing about homophobia in school. _I guess I should've known…_

"Anyways, are we just gonna stand here or are we going to get some food?" Tweet said as he clutched his stomach.

"Yeah let's go get some food!" Sasha squeeled animatedly. "I'm starving!"

"What?" Cohen interjected. "You said you just ate this morning."

"Yeah." Sasha drawled seductively. "But I wasn't talking about food."

"Oooooooh!" The group cooed simultaneously while Cohen gave Sasha a congratulatory high-five.

"Nicely played"

"Funny. That's what she said."

"Oooooooh!" The group cooed again before bursting into laughter.

The offbeat gang walked towards the cafeteria, cracking jokes & several innuendoes on the way. Everyone seemed to compliment each other strangely. Tweet was flirtatious yet analytic. Edgar was gorgeous & protective. Alex was out there yet loyal. Sasha was outgoing & sweet while Cohen was silent yet kind. Sam didn't know where she fit in; all she knew was that they accepted her for who she was.

'_What more can a girl want?'_ She smiled.

'_Oh, right… Carly.'_

_

* * *

  
_

Freddie was in his table at the cafeteria when he spotted Sam. He hadn't seen her for what seemed like forever, in fact he'd forgotten all about her. The last days have all been about Carly.

'_I guess I've been preoccupied…' _He thought as he looked around. He was in the quote-unquote "Jock" table with Erick & the guys. They were immersed in the usual conversation of girls, sex & sports. It was getting real old real fast.

'_Maybe I could sit with Sam.' _He had begun to gather his things when he saw who she was eating with. It was Alex & his Droogs. They were notorious for drug-induced orgies, public sodomy & a strew of incidents that involved pyrotechnics and half-naked belly dancers. Anyone with half a brain should stay away from them.

'_Damn it! Doesn't Sam know their reputation?!' _

So Fredward Benson forgot his tray & stormed towards his friend's direction—adamant to get her away from them.

Meanwhile at their table, Alex & Sam were enrapt in a thumb-o-war for the last bowl of chocolate pudding.

"Why do you want it anyways? You already had two cups full!" Alex argued while he relented from Sam's combo attack.

"A person can never have too much pudding!"

"You can get diabetes!" He half-yelled.

"You can too!"

"Yeah, but it's _**my**_ pudding!"

"Makes no difference."

"Yes it does, I stood in line for it!"

"Well too bad!"

Tweet was watching the pair with a smile while Sasha was loudly cheering for Sam. Cohen on the other hand, decided to stay out of it while Edgar was busy texting on his PearPhone.

"Damnit Sam! Forfeit!" Alex yelled when the match seemed never-ending. Once he was able to pin her down, she would just burst out of it & pin him back. It was like a continuous flow of I-win-you-win-no-one-wins reminiscent of childhood tic-tac-toe.

"Hey" Edgar interjected—finally looking away from his phone. "You can have mine Sam." He said as he pushed his bowl of pudding to her side.

"Really?" She asked dubiously, not letting go of the hold she had on Alex's thumb.

"Yup." He smiled.

"Gee, thanks." She said before diving into the bowl with a spoon that magically appeared from her pocket.

"You're not gonna eat it?" Alex asked worriedly. He knew Edgar had a huge sweet tooth & it wasn't every day he'd pass up the chance to indulge it.

"Yeah, Kate just texted me. I gotta go meet her at the quad & help carry some books towards Mr. Levi's office."

"Oh." Alex replied somewhat sadly.

"Who's Kate?" Sam asked while she shoveled spoon full's of pudding into her mouth.

"My girlfriend." Edgar said with a smile as he began to pack up his things. Needless to say, Sam almost choked on her spoon when he answered.

"You have a girlfriend?" She asked as though he said he just came back from Mars & decided to bring them all with him for a picnic.

"He's bi, sweetie." Tweet said as he looked at her shocked expression.

"Oh..." _'That explains it.' _

"Yup. He goes both ways. Man, woman, either way he'd fuck them." Alex said quite callously as he stared into his food.

"Anyways…" Edgar coughed awkwardly, getting the groups attention back on him. "I'll see you guys later"

When he was out the door, Sam growing curiosity got the best of her.

"What was that about?"

"Ooooh… touchy subject. Don't bring it up." Tweet murmured while Sasha & Cohen looked away & pretended to be enrapt with school work.

"No it's okay." Alex said, waving it off.

"Edgar & I use to date." He said casually.

Sam raised a brow & Alex sighed in defeat.

"He was the love of my life." He whispered as he fiddled with his food.

"What happened?"

"That bitch Kate happened!" Sasha interjected hotly. "They were perfect until that home wrecking skank came along!"

"Woah, now." Cohen eased—rubbing Sasha's back to calm her down. "No need to be so mad."

"But they were perfect for each other…" Sash said under her breath while tears formed in her eyes.

"There are things you've always wanted to say that some people have always needed to hear. It just so happened I said mine too late." Alex said as he stared at Sam.

"That's why it's important that you tell _her _how you feel before it's too late."

"Yeah & we'll have your back all the way girl!" Tweet nudged with a smile & Sam couldn't help but smile back.

"Yup. Operation get-the-girl is officially in sequence!" Sasha yelled—suddenly back to her usual cheerful self—while Cohen gave Sam a thumbs up.

'_It's just like Alex to tell everyone.' _She thought as she looked at the supportive faces of her new friends.

'_But I'm glad he did'_

"Sam!" A voice boomed from behind. Sam spun her head to find a very angry Freddie. He grabbed her arm & practically yanked her off her seat.

"What the hell?" She yelled while the rest of the gang jumped up from their seats.

"What do you think you're doing?" Alex asked hotly, followed by a menacing glance by Tweet & Cohen.

"I'm trying to save my friend from making a horrible decision." Freddie said a-matter-a-factly.

"Excuse me?" Sasha asked visibly offended.

"C'mon Sam." He said ignoring the others. "I have to talk to you."

Sam looked at his expression & couldn't help but be intrigued. She never saw Freddie like this before—all angry & aggressive. It was weird. It was like looking at a mirror. She glanced at the group & muttered a "Be back in five" before she shoved her arm away from Freddie's hold & walked towards the double doors.

"What the hell was that about Fredwart?"

"Whad'ya mean? Don't you know who those people are?!"

Sam looked at Freddie as though he grew a second head.

"Ummm, yeah. They're my new friends."

"You're friends with them?!" He yelled with wide eyes.

"God. Say it, don't spray it." Sam muttered as she wiped a few droplets of spit from her cheek.

"They're **bad** news, Sam."

"Great. So am I." She smirked.

"No. I mean **BAD** news." He began as he looked around to see if the coast was clear.

"_They do drugs._" He whispered.

"Okay… & this is any of my business why?" She asked casually.

"Because you're hanging out with them!" Freddie yelled. "Don't you get the gravity of the situation!?"

"Ummm… not really."

"Drugs! Sam. **Drugs!**"

"My uncle Carl did coke & he's fine."

"**He's in** **jail!**"

"Yeah, three meals a day & free lodging. What more can Puckett want?"

"Oh my God, you're unbelievable." Freddie sighed. "Just promise me you'll stay away from them."

"What? No! You're not the boss of me."

"I'm just looking out for you!"

"I can take care of myself." Sam huffed.

"I almost lost Carly, I'm not gonna lose you too." Freddie said in the heat, unaware of his words.

"What?" Sam asked shocked, while Freddie covered his mouth in shame.

'_Damn it! Freudian Slip.'_

"**What did you say?**" Sam asked again.

"It's… it's nothing."

Sam gripped Freddie shirt & pushed him hard against the lockers.

"**What did you say?**"

"Sam…" He sighed.

"Something happened…"

* * *

Sam raced back to her table & began to gather her things in a fluster. Alex looked at the rest of the gang before he decided to speak.

"What happened?" He asked cautiously.

Sam looked at him & he could see unbridled rage flickering upon her eyes.

"**I'm gonna kill James McElroy**" She said bitterly.

"Why?" Sasha asked.

"He tried to rape Carly." She spat.

Cohen looked at Tweet who looked at Sasha who then looked at Alex. A silent decision had been made between the three.

"I'm gonna call Edgar." Alex said as he stood.

"Why?" Sam asked confused.

"We're gonna help you kill James."

* * *

_**A/N:** DUN DUN DUN! What happens next? I don't know. I haven't written it yet. 0,0. All I can say is that it's gonna be CRAZY. What does Valerie have to do with anything? She once tried to steal Freddie to make her own web show, who is she going to steal next? Ooooooooh... What will happen to Carly? What's going on with Eyes? & Are Alex & his gang really as bad as the rumors say? Stay tuned to find out! ^_^_

_Extra: Sam's ring-tone is "The Donnas-Like An Animal". Ultra-Violence & Droogs are both references to A Clockwork Orange & what else did I miss? Uhhh... Thumb-O-War is a game that requires no athletic talent what-so-ever. Oh & ofcourse Freudian Slip is from Freud. (obviously --,--)  
_


	7. Friendship & Dildos

**iFucking Hate Puberty**

**VII**

**

* * *

  
**

It was 2:00 P.M. & Carly Shay was sprawled jadedly against the couch. She was supposed to be taking a math quiz right now, but she couldn't even gather the strength to stand much less take the three mile commute to the last place she wanted to be. Going to school was something she began to dread. What if they heard? What if they saw? What if they noticed? Either way, she didn't want to find out anytime soon.

'_My whole body hurts…'_

Her lips were swollen & her arms were different shades of blackish-purple. Everything that happened seemed like a horrible dream but the markings on her skin told her different. It happened & she never felt so dirty in her life. The image of his eyes had burned through her skin—vile perversion—unlocked by such a devious whim.

It puzzled her how such people could exist. How they could walk amongst us & blend into the crowd as though they were every one else. How do we know who to trust? Do we really know the people in our lives? Or do we only see what they want us to see? The notion of the unknown had never scared Carly as much as it did now. She felt weak, naïve & broken.

"Hey kiddo" Spencer says softly as he walked into the living room. "You sure you don't need me here? Cuz I can cancel this gallery thing anytime"

"No" She smiled somewhat forcibly. "I know how much you've been looking forward to it. I'll be alright."

"Okay…" He replied quite dubiously. "If you need me just call, alright?"

"Yeah" She smiles again. "I will."

"Alright then..." He mutters as he kisses her on the cheek & softly ruffles her hair. Carly knew it was juvenile but she always felt comforted when Spencer did that. He still saw her as a little kid & she sincerely wished she was. Life was simpler then. Parties consisted of cake, friends & an unlucky donkey who get's pinned in the behind. A drink used to be a pouch of Carpi-Sun & weed was something that you cut down in your yard. Back then, coke was just a soda & third-base only applied in baseball. It's funny how things change.

'_Funny? __**No**__. It's sad.'_

Carly stared at the television's blank screen & sighed.

'_I wish things never changed…'_

_

* * *

  
_

Freddie locked up his locker with a grim look on his face. He didn't pay attention to any of his classes & he was sure the teachers noticed. He answered all their answers with a solemn "I don't know" & went back to brooding. Things weren't going very well.

'_I can't believe I told Sam…' _He sighed as he smacked his head on cool metal.

'_Carly's gonna hate me…'_

"Hey man, what's—ummm something wrong?" Erick asked as he walked into Freddie slamming his head against his locker.

"Wha? Oh… hey Erick" The older boy raised a brow at his response.

"Okay… what's eating you up?"

"Ahhh, it's nothing…" Freddie replied with a weak smile. "Just… school stuff…"

"…right… school stuff…" Erick said with a dubious expression on his face & Freddie couldn't help but sigh.

"Has there ever been a moment in your life that you wanted to make things right so bad but… you… you just **can't**?"

"Whad'ya mean?"

"Like… something bad really happened & you can't do anything about it cuz it already… you know… happened?"

Erick's eyes widened as a light bulb flashed over his head. "Dude…" he whispered. "Did you get some chick pregnant?"

"What? No!" Freddie half-yelled making a few passing students' head's turn.

"Whew man, that's a load off. Cuz I dunno if I can give you any advice about that one!" The senior sighed in relief as he wiped off an imaginary drop of sweat from his forehead.

"Well, if you didn't get anyone pregnant then it can't be all that bad." He began. "Unless… you got, you know, Gonorrhea or something."

"What?"

"I mean seriously man. They say it's a burning sensation but it's not! It's like you're pissing broken glass off your dick."

"Again…_what_?"

"It sucks, sometimes there's blood & you suddenly think maybe you were really born a girl only with like, male parts!"

The look on Freddie's face was priceless when the senior finally finished his piece on the effects of venereal disease. "How do you know so much about this?" He asked incredulously.

"What? Oh, I did this chick three years ago—"

"Never mind!" Freddie interjected. "I don't think I even want to know."

"All right, but don't come crying to me when you start peeing red"

"Ooookay… I'm gonna act like this conversation never happened…" He replied as he closed his locker door.

Erick just shrugged it off. "Anyway, what did you do that was so bad?"

Freddie stared at the ground as he answered. "It's not what I did… it's what I _didn't_ do…"

"Oookay… cryptic much?" Erick answered with a look that screamed '_you're hiding something'_.

Freddie didn't know whether he should've been stunned by Erick's intuitiveness or his new found vocabulary. _'Who knew he actually paid attention to English class?'_

"Well… you gonna tell me or what?" He asked, snapping Freddie back into reality.

"I—I can't…"

"Huh... it's pretty bad I take it?"

"Yup"

"Well… from what you told me it seems that you're really torn up about something that happened…which, you _wished_ didn't happen."

"Yeah…" Freddie nodded, urging him to continue.

"Hmmmmn… I guess all I can say is that you can't cry over spilled milk. All you can do is grab a mop & try to fix the mess. But no matter how hard you try to wipe it off, the floor remains sticky. It's like this reminder that you fucked up big time. But you know what? A sticky floor isn't half as bad as a kitchen flooded with spoiling milk."

"You know…" Freddie starts, baffled beyond belief. "That actually makes sense."

"Of course it does!" Erick says with a proud grin. "I'm a senior!"

"Have you ever thought of going into therapy in college?"

"What do I need therapy for?" Erick asked confused. "I'm perfectly normal."

"I mean as a—you know what, never mind." Freddie sighs with a small smile.

"So did I somewhat solve your problem?"

"Um, yeah actually. You kinda put things in perspective"

"Great!" He laughed flinging his arm around his junior's shoulder. "Now, what I came here for."

"You came for something?" Freddie asked visibly confused.

"Well yeah! I don't just hang around people's lockers for kicks you know?"

"I guess not."

"Jackie's asking if you're free this Friday."

"You're hooking me up with you're girlfriend?" Freddie asked with wide & disbelieving eyes.

"What? No! **Never**." Erick countered. "She's asking if you're free Friday cuz we were planning to double."

"Double?"

"Yeah like, double date?"

"Ummm… I'm not really in the mood. Sorry."

"Oh come on! You haven't even heard me out yet!"

"Fine, what?" Freddie sighed tiredly.

"We were thinking of inviting Carly." Erick said with a grin while Freddie stopped dead on his tracks.

"I—I don't think we'll be able to make it." He says in a tone so forlorn.

"What? Why not? It's the perfect opportunity!"

"Carly's… not feeling very well… so… I don't know."

"Oh." Erick replied remorsefully. "Is that why she isn't in school today?"

"Yeah…" Freddie sighed while a huge lump began to form in his throat. "She's… uummm… really sick…"

"Well then, why don't you bring her some flowers & soup?" Erick replied with a gleeful grin. "It'll make her feel better… _and_ she'll think it's totally sweet." He says as he raises a mischievous brow.

Freddie knew what he was thinking & couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, you're right!" He said, visibly lightening up. _I may not be able to fix things entirely but I can at least be there for her._

With a new found purpose Fredward Benson began to sprint towards the exit.

"Dude! Where you going!?" Erick yelled at his retreating form.

"I'm gonna buy some roses!" He yelled & Erick couldn't help but smile.

'_Ahhh…to be young & in love…'_

"Hey" a voice called from behind & he didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"Babe!" He smiled as he looked her way.

"Hey, you seem awfully happy." Jackie said with a playful smirk.

"That's cuz you're here" he says with a full smile.

"Awww… you're sooo cheesy." She laughed while he encircled his arms around her waist.

"Never change." She whispers as she kisses his lips lovingly.

"As you wish." He retorts playfully & Jackie could only laugh as he lifted her off the ground.

"Yup. Very cheesy."

* * *

"So, do we have everything?" Alex asked, eyeing the people in his group. They were stationed at the Louvre, which he had inexplicably closed down for the day. He had called Edgar that morning & they decided to ditch school to get some much needed supplies.

Sasha brought forth a big brown paper bag & placed it on the table. "Alright. Head check!" She says in pure guerilla fashion. _'I think she's getting more into this than I am…' _Sam thought, as the shorter girl began to call out their names.

"Cohen!"

"This is stupid." The said girl replied.

"Oh coooome onnnnn, Just do it!" Sasha whined & Cohen rolled her eyes in response.

"Cohen!" Sasha yells again, her eyes fixed on the taller teen.

"Here." Cohen replies monotonously, humoring the younger girl.

"That wasn't that hard now was it?" Sasha says with a beaming smile.

"Whatever." Cohen mutters as she takes a seat.

"Edgar!"

"Locked & Loaded ma'am, ready for orders!"

"Good! Alex!"

"Right here babe."

"Okay… not the reply I was looking for… anyways, Tweet!"

"Dressed to kill."

"Ooooh… clever, I like it. Sam!"

"Right here."

"Alright! Since were all present—"

"Obviously." Cohen muttered under her breath.

"—let's get out the ammunition!" Sasha continues, ignoring the latter comment.

"We've got, drum roll please… a metal baseball bat!"

"I'll get that one." Edgar says taking it from her hands. "Nice…" he commended as he tightly gripped its handle. _'I can do some serious damage with this.'_

"Next is… a metal chain!" Sasha yells out as she tries to lift it out of the bag. "Damn this thing is heavy…" She mutters as her small frame began to tip over.

"That ones mine." Cohen says, easily snatching the chain with one hand. "Huh… I thought it'd be heavier."

"Oh, whatever." Sasha huffed as she brought her attention back to the bag. "Here we have… a wooden paddle! Courtesy of my brothers frat the Omega Pi!"

"Oooh, I'll take that!" Alex gushed. _'I wonder how many boys' butts this thing has spanked. God knows how much I love history.' _He thought with a smile. _'Too bad I have to use it on a total douche-bag.'_

"Okay, next item is...a Rambo knife? Who the hell put that in there?" Sasha asked wide-eyed. "We're trying to jump somebody people, not have a freaking massacre!"

"Oh. My bad." Tweet interjected. "That was all I could find."

"Your dad owns an auto-shop! They have like, tons of stuff!" Sash yelled incredulously.

"Sorry." Tweet replied while he uncomfortably fiddled with his hands.

"It's okay…" the younger girl murmured as her astonishment quickly turned into guilt. "Here you can have this." She says, handing the boy a can of pepper spray.

"Cool, now I can blind people." He says with a smile.

"Isn't that your step mom's?" Cohen whispered.

"Yup." Sasha whispered back. "Don't worry, she's such a bitch that only dogs try to do her. They think she's of the same species or something."

The pair shared a stifled laugh before they went back to business. "Alright, for Sam I got a pair of brass knuckles!"

"Perfect." Sam replies as she tries them on. _'I'm gonna beat the living crap out of you James. Just you wait.'_

"Okay!" Sasha yelled excitedly—catching everyone's attention. "Here's mine!" The groups' eyes almost popped out of their heads when the girl brought out a massive purple dildo from a Ziploc bag.

"What the hell do you need that for?!" Cohen yelled in a mixture of shock & disgust. "Ewww… it isn't even clean."

The said apparatus had brown splotches all over it & from the smell it could've only been one thing. Sam covered her nose along with the others while Sasha remained standing ever-so proudly on her chair.

"What the hell did you do with that thing?!" Tweet shouted.

"Oh it's not as much what I did with it. It's more like… where I put it."

"Ahhh gross!" the group yelled simultaneously.

"Oh no! I didn't mean _**that**_!" Sasha countered with a heavy blush on her face. "I wiped it all over the men's bathroom at work."

"Why would you do that?" Edgar asked completely bewildered.

"Well… I figured I'd give James a taste of his own medicine." Sasha said with an impish smile that suddenly made things crystal clear.

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" Sam says with an equally devious smirk forming on her face.

"Oh, we are gonna get in so much trouble." Edgar laughs while Alex raises a brow.

"Since when were we ever out of trouble?"

The group of misfits looked at one another and smiled.

"**Never**."

* * *

It was around four when Carly heard a muffled knock on her door. She knew Spencer was going to be out until ten so it was no surprise when she felt a sudden burst of anxiety. _'What if it's __**him**__?' _She thought as her pulse began to race. _'What if he came back to finish what he started?' _ The thought of James knowing where she slept made her heart pound & it wasn't until she heard a familiar voice did she begin to relax.

"Carly? You there? It's Freddie"

'_Freddie?_'

"I know you want to be alone & everything but uummm… I got you something."

'_I wonder what it is…'_

Carly opened the door to a very timid Freddie. His cheeks were colored a light shade of pink & his eyes were everywhere but hers. He was clothed in his usual blue letter jacket, a white tee & a pair of Chucks she had gotten him last Christmas. _'I don't think I ever see him in anything else these days…' _She thought as her eyes wandered towards fleeting flash of red behind him.

"Hey." She says as she tried to cover her arms.

"Hey." He says back, trying not to look.

"Umm… I got you these." He stutters awkwardly as he brings up a plastic bag & a bouquet of roses.

"Wow." She says in genuine surprise as she picks up the flowers. "Thanks. I-I don't know what to say… what're they for?"

"Well… ummm… they're for you."

"For me?"

"Yeah…"

"Oh… thanks." She says with a bewildered expression.

"You don't like them?"

"No—"

"No?"

"No—I mean—it's not that. They just kind off… came out of nowhere."

"Oh…" He says uncomfortably as he rubs the back of his head. "I mean… I could just take them back if you."

"No, I love them. Thanks." She smiled & Freddie could feel his heart stop.

'_I wonder if you know how beautiful you really are…'_

"So… ummm… what're you doing?" He asked awkwardly as he peaked into her home.

"Oh, just watching … random stuff…"

"Random stuff?" He questioned as a familiar motto filtered through the hall.

_Prepare for trouble...._ _And make it double!_ _To protect the world from devastation,_ _To unite all peoples within our nation!_ _To denounce the evils of truth and love,_ _To extend our reach to the stars above!_ _Jessie!_ _James!_ _Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!_ _Surrender now or prepare to fight!_ _Meooowth__! That's right!_

Freddie arched a brow at Carly's blushing face.

"Pokemon?"

"I wasn't—I mean—It was on & I—" She stuttered in complete embarrassment & he couldn't help but laugh.

"It's okay. I'm not gonna tell anyone that Carly Shay's a closet geek."

"A closet geek?" Carly asked in mock offense. "You're one to talk Mr. Jock"

"Mr. Jock?" He smiled. "That's new."

"Well, you are! & I also happen to know you have a collection of Star Wars dolls in your room."

"They're not dolls!" He said exasperatedly. "They're action figures!"

"It's still worse than watching Pokemon." She says a mater-a-factly.

"Ummm… no it isn't. R2-D2 is waaaaay cooler than Wobbufet!"

"Aha!" Carly says with a smile. "You watch it too!"

"What? No. I just—It's not like—I mean" He stuttered, blushing a bright red.

"It's okay Freddie" She smiled as she patted him on the shoulder. "I won't tell anyone you're a closet geek either."

"Thanks…" He sighed in relief. "The guys would've teased me to death."

"I know." She said as she looked back at her house & back at him. "So… what's in the bag?"

"Oh this?" He says with a smile. "Just Mr. Gallini's famous coconut cream pie."

Carly's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

"Yup. Wanna share?"

"Yes!" She half-screamed in absolute delight & Freddie couldn't help but laugh.

"Can I come in then?" He asked as she tilted her head in confusion.

"You don't need to ask Freddie. You know you're always welcome here." She says with a smile & Freddie's heart stopped for the second time today.

* * *

"Okay. So this is what we know." Cohen says as she laid out their plan. "James is known to hang out at Joe's Bowling alley at Alaska & Hudson. He goes there almost everyday with his buddies."

"Joe's?" Tweet asks confused.

"I know where it is." Edgar says. "It's pretty run down. Not many people go there & they have no security guards what-so-ever."

"That's perfect." Alex comments with a smile.

"It is. The only problems we have are Seth Jones & Michael Smith." Cohen states as she looks over at Sam. "They're massive."

"How big are they?" Sasha questions.

"Huge. I had gym class with them last year & all they ever did was lift weights and stare at each others biceps."

"Wow… that's not gay at all." Alex starts with a smile. "I'm sure with all of us combined we could beat the shit out of them."

"That's true." Tweet says in agreement.

"So" Cohen begins. "I just called my cousin earlier—"

"Stephano?" Sasha interjected.

"Yeah, him. Anyw—"

"How's he doing?" Sasha asks, cutting Cohen off once more.

"He's fine."

"That's nice to know."

"Yeah, it is. Are you finished?"

"Yup." Sasha says with a smile.

'_Sometimes I think she gets a kick out of annoying me…' _

"So anyways." Cohen starts as she shifted her attention back to the group. "He works nearby and he said James & his crew just pulled up over there about five minutes ago. We can storm in any time we want."

The group of teens looked at one another before they directed their eyes towards Sam. This was her fight & they were just there to tag along. What ever her decision ended up to be, they would've supported her all the way.

"We've got the rest." Alex tells her without a moment's hesitation. "You only need to worry about James."

Sam looks at their faces & sighs. "I guess it's now or never."

"So it's a go?" Sasha asked anxiously.

"Yeah. It's a go." Sam says with a thumbs-up.

"Alright!" Edgar smiles, pumped full of adrenalin. "We're taking my jeep."

"Sweet." Alex said as he flung his arm around Sam.

"You gonna be okay?" He asked under his breath & she looked at him with a sad smile.

"It's not me I'm worried about."

* * *

Carly & Freddie were stationed at the coach watching old reruns of Scoobie-doo's ghostly adventures. Every now & then he would steal a glimpse of the girl next to him & every time he did, his breathe would catch his throat. He'd never met anyone as perfect as Carly Shay. She was smart, beautiful, funny & loyal. After all these years she still remained in his heart.

'_I don't think I can ever get over you…'_

She looked his way & Freddie almost broke his neck when he quickly shifted his line of vision. _'Oh crap. Oh crap. She just caught me staring at her!' _He thought embarrassedly while the said girl arched a brow.

"So…" Carly started, disregarding his mild act of voyeurism. "How was school?"

"School?" Freddie asked as he looked back at her. "It was… fine…"

"Fine?" Carly smiled. "From your voice it didn't seem like it was fine at all."

Freddie couldn't help but sigh. "Just… stupid high school stuff…"

"What do you mean?" She asked in genuine concern. "You can talk to me, you know."

He looked at her & smiled. "I know."

"Well then, what happened?"

"Well…" Freddie starts as he took a deep breath. "During the morning Jake really pissed me off…"

"Jake Krandle?" Carly asked.

"Yeah. The one & only." Freddie said in mock admiration. "The guy so full of himself… he thinks he's God's gift to women you know."

"What?" Carly laughed.

"I swear, he really does! He thinks he's like, Brad Pitt or something!"

"What makes you say that?" She asked amused.

"Well for starters he walks into school like there's a red carpet rolled out on the hallways and for some reason all these girls buy into it & drool at his feet!"

"Well… a lot of girls drool for you too, you know." Carly added with a smile while Freddie's face turned beet red.

"Well yeah…" He stuttered. "But he treats them like they're not human, like they're just objects for him to play with! It just… it really pisses me off." Freddie finished hotly & Carly could only smile.

"You're a really good guy Freddie. Any girl would be lucky to have you." She says as she touched his cheek. "Don't worry about Jake. He couldn't even compare to you."

Freddie could feel the heat resonating from her hand & wanted nothing more than to kiss her lips. She looked breathtaking even in her battered state & her large brown eyes had looked at him with such care that he wanted to cry.

"Carly…" He starts solemnly, as he held onto her hand.

"What is it?" She asked, confused.

"I've always wanted to tell you that I—"

_**BANG!**_

A loud uproar had interrupted Freddie's declaration & a very startled Carly jumped from her seat. The pair had begun to grow anxious when they heard a resounding clash. It sounded like something huge was being thrown against the door & from the incessant banging it was clear that what ever it was, it wanted Carly.

"Go behind me." Freddie said gravely as the locks on the door began to loosen. _'Whatever's behind that door isn't going to anywhere near Carly.'_

In a matter of seconds, the door flew open & James McElroy's beaten down body fell on the living room floor. He looked like he just got hit by a bus. His mouth was bloody & his eyes were a sickening shade of blackish-blue. There were a number of bruises on his arms & from his torn shirt Carly could see that they didn't stop there. He was a disheveled mess & it was only when Sam entered the room did things began to make sense.

She had a cut brow, a bruised lip & a line of blood trickled from her scalp. She looked at James who was sprawled against the floor & kicked him right on the stomach.

"Say it!" She bellowed while half-conscious James went on his knees & looked up fearfully at Carly.

"I—I apologize" He whispered beneath his breath before a livid Sam kicked him once more.

"Louder!" She yelled & James began to cry.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! P-please… I—I'm so sorry…" He groveled as the tears fell freely from swollen eyes. "I'm so sorry…"

Carly didn't know what to say. Only a few days ago did this boy haunt her dreams & now here he was, groveling at her feet. He looked as scared as she had been & even though her brain said no, she began to cry.

"Y—you tried to—" she stuttered. "I'm sorry—but… I can't forgive you…"

And with those words James spun his head towards Sam. "I tried…" He muttered fearfully.

"Too bad." She replied coldly before taking him by the hair. She dragged his limp form towards the hallway where Edgar & Alex lay waiting.

"Take him to Sash." She said simply while James' whole body stiffened.

"No please! You promised!" He yelled when Edgar began to drag him away.

Alex looks at Sam & smirks. "This is gonna be fun."

"I bet." She replies as she watches James struggle against Edgar's grasp.

"So you gonna stay here?" He asked.

"Yeah." She says. "I've got a lot of explaining to do."

"Alright then. I'll see you later." He stated before walking away.

Sam watches him leave before heading back to Carly's suite. She didn't know what to say. _'Oh hey Carly, I heard some guy tried to rape you so I beat him to bloody pulp. Or hey Carly, I'm sorry about the mess. I'll clean up the blood, no worries!'_

'_**Fuck**__…' _She stopped. _'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…'_

Sam looked back at the hallway & weighed her options. _'I could still make a run for it… I bet Alex isn't even in the jeep yet…' _It wasn't until she heard a familiar voice did her thoughts come to an end.

"Sam!" Carly yelled as she ran the expanse of the hallway. She had bruises on her arms & a cut on her lip and suddenly Sam wanted to beat up James all over again. _'That fucking asshole...' _She thought as her knuckles tightened. _'I hope Sasha does a good job on you…'_

"Sam" Carly says again, an inch away.

'_Woah. How'd you get here so fast?' _

"What was that about?" She asks & Sam could only shrug in response.

"I just… I heard what he did."

"You did?" Carly said with an almost shameful expression.

"Hey, It's not your fault so don't give me that look." Sam said bluntly. "He got what he deserved."

"You didn't have to—"

"No." Sam cut in. "I _**wanted**_ to. No one can get away with almost raping _**my**_ gir—err—best friend."

'_Shit. I hope she didn't catch that.'_

Carly looked at her & began to tear up.

"Did—did I say something wrong?" Sam asked worriedly.

"No" Carly muttered as she banged her fist against the taller girl's chest. "You're so stupid."

'_I'm what?'_

"Don't do that again." Carly cried as she hugged her friend's startled form. "I don't ever want to lose you."

"Ummm… okay." Sam answered awkwardly, hiding the blush that now stained her cheeks.

"Promise?" Carly hiccupped.

"Yeah." Sam replied. "I promise."

Freddie looked at the hugging pair & couldn't help but feel envious.

'_That should've been me…'_

_

* * *

  
_

Elsewhere, in a shadier part of town.

"I'm sorry! Please don't!" James yelled.

"It's too late to be saying sorry, bucko" Sasha replied. "Cohen, hand me the equipment!"

"Here" The taller girl replied, handing Sasha a pair of gloves.

"Alright then. Here we go."

_*Bbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzz*_

"_**OH MY GOD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"**_

_**

* * *

**_

**A/N: **Whew, that one took forever! O,O I made it a lot longer to make up for lost time though! _(cuz I'm cool like that =,=) _Haha, anyways if there are any typos that's because I only reread the chapter the day after I post it. _(I'm a great procrastinator. I know, how cool is that?)_ The story has yet to truly begin. Things only get crazier from here. But on the bright side: Carly & Sam are friends again! _Yay! _But how long can Sam repress her true feelings? Ooooooooooooh... & Is Freddie ever going to get the girl? Or better yet, does anyone even want him to? Stay tuned to find out!

**Extras**: Erick's "As You Wish" comment was a reference to _A Princess Bride_. Wobbufet is a blue goo-looking pokemon with the tail of a beaver_ (I know right? I swear they're running out of ideas)_. AND... oooooh juicy tid-bit. I actually fashioned Sasha & Cohen's relationship after Dana's & Alice's in the L word (if you watch it, then I bet you know what'll happen). **O,O**


	8. Girls, Girls, Girls

**iFucking Hate Puberty**

**VIII**

**

* * *

**_A/N: Holy crap how long has it been? I'm very sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I had watched the 'iKiss 'episode & thought "What the fuck is this shit?!" I got turned off from writing anything & then that new 'iSaved Your Life' promo started airing & I figured I might as well start writing again before **that **episode fucks up my storyline. Anyways, here's the new chap!  
_

* * *

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" She asked with a smile as I ran my fingers through her hair.

"Nothing" I say with a smirk.

"Oh come on, tell me" She says amused. "I lost you there for a second."

"Nah. I was here." I said as I looked about the room. Everything was a mess. Our clothes lay discarded in a pile beside the bed & a few shards of broken glass shimmered against the floor. She followed my line of sight & glowed bright red.

"I'm sooo sorry about that, I'll pay for it, I promise!" She says—embarrassed beyond belief—and I couldn't help but laugh. She had knocked over my lamp during the frenzy of our night's activities & I hadn't even noticed.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." I said & she looked at me with big brown eyes.

"No, I'll replace it. Your mom will kill you if I don't"

I couldn't help but laugh. She's so cute it's unbelievable.

"I said don't worry about it." I say with a smile as she pouted in silent rebuttal & it took everything in me not to jump her bones. I don't think she knows just how adorable she is.

"What I was thinking…" I started as she switched her attention back to me. "…that I can't be happier than this very moment."

I watched her face glow bright red for the second time as she shyly looked away.

"Hey" I said as I placed a hand on her cheek. "I mean it"

She looks at me & blushes even harder.

"Me too…" She says & suddenly I felt like I could fly.

"I love you Carly." I whisper & she smiles brightly at my words.

"I love you too Freddie"

* * *

"Hey! Fredwart!" Sam yelled as she slammed her hand on the table.

"Wh-what?" Freddie gurgled, wiping a trail of drool from his cheek.

"Eewwww…" She cringed. "That's fucking gross!"

"Aw, shut up" Freddie retorted as he came back to his senses. _'Damn it. It was a nice dream too…'_

"Whatever." Sam says back.

It had been three days since the incident with James & a few cuts & bruises still littered her face. It still surprises him how brave she was, going after a man three times her size. I mean, he knew Sam was reckless but this was a whole other level. She was almost noble in her act & Freddie couldn't help but respect her for it. But that's something he'll never tell her. _'God knows she'll never let it down'. _

"Anyways, the shows over. Go sleep during some other job." She says brashly. They were taping iCarly & he had fallen asleep behind the camera. Football practice was extremely hard today & he was exaughsted beyond belief.

"Will it kill you to be a little more considerate?" He asks, frustrated as they made their way towards Carly's living room.

"I don't know & I won't risk finding out." She says a-matter-a-factly as she plopped herself on the couch. "Hey, hand the remote will ya?"

"I don't know where it is." He replied.

"Me neither. Go look for it." She says as she raises her feet on the coffee table. "Well?" She deadpans as she looks at Freddie who hasn't moved an inch.

"I'm not your little whipping boy." He says through clenched teeth.

"Oh yeah." She smiles. "Your just Jennifer Alfred's right?"

"What?!" He blurts out like a deer caught in the headlights.

Sam laughed whole heartedly at his face. "What? You thought I wouldn't hear about that?"

"What?! Whe—How? Please don't tell Carly!" He stuttered & she just grinned cheekily.

"Get me the remote & I'll think about it" She says as Freddie scampers on his feet looking for the lost object.

'_Huh… this'll be fun' _She thought as she watched the football player run around the house like his pants just caught fire. _'Oh yeah… lot's of fun'_

"Damn it, I can't find it!" He yelled exasperatedly after five minutes of hapless searching.

"You can't?" Sam yawned. "I wonder how Carly will react if she foun—"

"I said I couldn't find it!" He yells again, his face red with anger, shame & a load of other emotions he couldn't even begin to articulate.

"Awww… that sucks." She says tiredly. "Well, for you that is…"

"Hey! You said you wouldn't say anything!"

"No. I said I'd think about it."

"Damn it Sam! Why are you such a bitch?!"

Sam raised a brow at the boy's profanity. Freddie wasn't the kind of guy who'd say such things. In fact, all though out her life she'd never heard him say a bad word, much less to a girl. She looked at his reddened face & grinned.

"My, my Freddie. I think you changed more than I thought."

Freddie couldn't help but cover his mouth. _'Mom would've killed me if she heard…'_

"Haha, oh come on. Don't beat yourself up over it." She laughed. "Look, I'm sorry."

Freddie couldn't believe his ears. Sam was apologizing? Unprovoked for that matter?

"I'm not gonna say anything, I promise." She says as she patted the empty seat next to her. Freddie looked for any sign of ingenuity & was surprised to find none. It was weird, to say the least. But he sat down anyways.

Sam was busy flipping through the pages of some magazine when he finally decided to speak up.

"You've changed too, you know." He says as she looked at him. "You're different somehow."

Sam just raised a brow & sighed.

'_Oh, you have __**no**__ idea'_

_

* * *

  
_

"What the fuck are you eating?" Cohen cringed, as she watched her petite friend gobble up what looked like fried entrails.

"Food." Sasha mumbled, as she ate up whatever poor creature had landed on her plate.

"What kind of food?"

"Fried liver & eggs." She answered simply.

"Ugh. That's disgusting!" Cohen yelled as the boys stayed ever-so preoccupied in their game of _"Who would you do?"_

"Okay, okay." Alex started. "Skins, Dev Patel? Or Slumdog, Dev Patel?"

"Pfffft… easy." Tweet replied. "Jamal, of course!"

"Eh, I don't know. Anwar's pretty cute." Edgar interjected as he picked up a fry.

"Um yeah, for a girl-obsessed homophobe!" Tweet yelled while Alex nodded his head in agreement.

"Girl-obsessed? At least he thinks of other things besides Latika!" Edgar replied animatedly.

"Whatever." Alex, shrugged. "How about… okay, Eric from True Blood, or Edward Cullen?"

"**Eric**" They said unanimously.

"Edward's too much of a fairy." Tweet said. "I mean, the boy glitters for god's sake!"

"What's your reason Eddie? I didn't know you liked to bottom." Alex teased. "Eric Northman doesn't bend over for anybody."

"I know." Edgar smiled sexily. "Who said I'd mind?"

"Ooooooooohhhh" The group cooed.

"Wow, you learn something new everyday." Cohen smirked with her brow raised.

"How about you bull-dyke? Would you mind being a bottom?" Tweet asked with a smile.

"No, fag. I wouldn't mind at all." She answered a-matter-a-factly.

The group shared a look and laughed.

"Yeah right!" They guffawed.

"Fuck you guys." Cohen muttered which just fueled the group's laughter.

"You guys seem like you're having a lot of fun" A sultry voice interjected.

Low & behold there stood Eyes with a different man on her arm. She had her dark-brown locks tied in a neat pony-tail that fell in curls at her shoulders, while her tight tube-top left almost nothing to the imagination. The man on her arm was about six-foot tall with deep blue eyes that would make any school-girl melt at the spot. She seemed to ignore him though as she seated herself by her brother.

"Well? I'm listening." She continued as she pinched Alex's cheek.

"We weren't talking about **anything**." He replied through gritted teeth.

She looked at the rest of his friends with a smile, staying a bit longer at Sasha who had a piece of liver hanging on her lip. "Enjoying your meal there, Sash?" She laughed while the younger girl blushed a complete scarlet.

Alex just rolled his eyes.

'_What makes her think she can just talk to my friends like that?_

"We were just talking about how Cohen was open to bottoming." Edgar said.

"Oh, really?" She smirked, shifting her attention to Cohen who hadn't said a word since she arrived.

"I mean—yeah, I'm open to it… I don't see the problem…" Cohen stuttered, completely unnerved by the older woman's gaze.

"You're cute" Iris said simply while Sasha did a spit-take beside her.

"I'm totally open to it too!" She yelled and Eyes couldn't help but laugh.

"You're cute too, Sasha." She said with a smile while the other girl bushed even more.

"You're missing one…" Eyes murmured, as she scanned the group of teens. Tweet's ears perked at her comment as a Cheshire-like grin began to grow on his face.

"Ah yeah, Sam's at her girlfriend's place" He said as he watched her expression fall. _'Oooooh what's this?' _He thought giddily, like a ten-year old boy running unsupervised though a Bionicle convention.

"Girlfriend?" She asked with a tinge of jealousy in her voice.

"Well… future girlfriend." Tweet continued. _'This is gonna be a __**lot**__ of fun.' _He thought slyly as he watched the small glimmer of hope shine through her eyes.

"Yeah, she's not quite there yet." Edgar said with a smile. Oblivious to the game his friend was playing.

"Oh. I see." Iris grinned, regaining her composure. "Well, I gotta be going. Josh is getting impatient." She said as she stood.

"Actually, it's Kyle." Her date spoke up & Iris just rolled her eyes.

"**Whatever**."

* * *

Freddie & Sam where stationed at the kitchen booth when Carly emerged from the shower. After they taped the show she had complained about the heat in the complex & they really couldn't blame her. Lewbert screwed up the main air-conditioning unit & Bushwell Plaza was now in a state of utter chaos—hot, sweaty & arid chaos. Though neither Sam & Feddie would admit it, Carly Shay looked pretty damn tantalizing under all the heat. Her tank top had stuck to her skin like a latex glove & for a moment they'd been glad that Lewbert was such an idiot.

What surprised them though was the half naked Carly that entered the living room. She had a towel wrapped around herself while she diligently dried her hair—oblivious to the lustful stares she was getting from her two best friends.

Freddie choked on his ice-tea while Sam sat in shock with an orange stuck in her mouth.

'_**Holy shit.' **_They thought simultaneously. Carly Shay was now undoubtedly a woman. The thin prepubescent teen they knew was gone & in her place stood an absolute goddess.

"What?" She asked innocently when she caught their gaze. "Do I have something on my face?"

"N—Nah" Freddie stuttered. "You look gorgeous."

'_Ugh…'_ Sam had to hold back vomit at the pathetic loser she knew to be Freddie Benson. _'Way to make her uncomfortable, douche-bag.'_

"Uhhh… thanks?" Carly replied awkwardly as she unconsciously gripped the edge of her towel. "Ummm… anyway I gotta head to my room & change. See you guys in a few!"

And just like that Carly Shay was gone.

Sam had to hold back a sigh as she turned to face Freddie.

"Nice going Freddie." She muttered satirically.

"What? I was being honest!" He defended.

"Yeah…" She drawled. "You need to shut up more often."

"What?! You shoul—the time whe—you no what? Nevermind." He stopped when he realized that an unwinnable argument was brewing since Sam actually had a point. _'Damn...'_ He thought as he took a gulp of his ice tea. _'Sam's making more & more sense these days… which is extremely weird…'_

He looked at the said girl who was busy peeling the rest of her orange & carefully studied her features. _'She's not Melanie. Is she?'_ He thought inwardly—suddenly paranoid of the prospect that the real Sam was out there somewhere, wrecking havoc to society. _'I mean… when was the last time Sam hit me? A week ago? A month? She used to hit me five times a day! But now… wait what am I thinking? Do I want to get hit? Am I one of __**those**__ people? Oh God, what will mom think?! Wait… what was I thinking about before?'_

Without a word, Sam looked up & stared right at him. Needless to say, Freddie was taken aback.

"The hell are you looking at, Benson?" She asked crassly.

"N-nothing" He stuttered as he took a nervous gulp & Sam simply raised a brow.

"Whatever. You've taken too many footballs to the head." And with that the conversation was over.

The two sat in a familiar silence before Freddie decided to speak his mind. Sam's choice in friends has bugged him more than he'd liked & whether people realized or not, he cared for her. She might've been aggressive, insensitive & quite frankly, psychotic but she was still one of his best friends.

"Sam." He started, cautiously.

"What?" She replied as she shoved a piece of fruit in her mouth.

"Do you still hang out with them?"

"With who?"

"You know. _**Them**_." He stated, emphasizing the last word with air-quotes.

"Who's _**them?**_" Sam questioned with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"C'mon." Freddie sighed. "You know who I'm talking about."

"You mean my _**friends**_" Sam replied angrily.

"Sam." He sighed once more. "I'm not trying to pick a fight with you."

She looked at him with furrowed brows when she replied.

"Then you better choose your words wisely, **Benson**."

"Look." He started. "I'm just worried."

"_**Worried**_?"

"We're in high school now Sam. This isn't middle school anymore. When people have bad reputations you better believe they earned it."

"Oh, really?" She asked sarcastically.

"Well… okay. Maybe not. But Alex & his gang aren't the types you want to hang around with."

"Wow." Sam laughed. "This coming from the guy who hangs around assholes!"

"That's different!" Freddie replied hotly.

"How so Fredwart?" She seethed. "Because your group is accepted & worshiped by most the school? You think that excuses them from all the **shit** they pull? And for some reason my group of friends are fucking pariahs because they don't give a shit about what other people think?!"

Sam was **red**—a very angry, violent red.

Her fists were clenched & every word she spoke dripped with poison. Freddie hadn't seen her so worked up since the time Missy came & tried to steal her place. The Sam in front of him now, was absolutely livid.

"I'm sorry." He muttered as he saw the error in his ways. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"Well you **did**" She quipped.

And just like that the conversation was over. There were a few things Sam couldn't stand. One of them was hypocrisy & the other was pre-conceived judgments about herself or her friends. Freddie had unknowingly hit both & it would've taken him a year's supply of ham to rectify the situation. So it comes as no surprise that when Carly came downstairs, she was greeted to a room thick with tension.

"Umm, is everything ok?" She asked worriedly as she hastily scanned the faces of her two best friends. Freddie had guilt etched all over his features while Sam looked ice cold & Carly Shay didn't have to be a genius to figure out that something terrible happened during her absence.

"Everything's fine." Freddie replied with an awkward smile while Sam seemed enrapt with the kitchen table. She barely shifted her line of vision to acknowledge Carly's presence & this made her best friend exceedingly anxious.

"Umm, Freddie can I talk to you for a second?" The football player's head popped up, as he heard the urgency in Carly's tone.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." He replied nervously, giving Sam a second-take before following his crush into the hallway.

"What is it?" He asked when she shut the door. He had no idea why she called him out here and only when she turned around, did everything make perfect sense. Carly Shay was absolutely furious.

"What did you do?!" She half-shouted.

"Me?! How'd you know Sam didn't start it?!" He said defensively.

"It doesn't matter who started it Freddie! I just got Sam back & I don't want her pulling away again!"

"Look, I didn't **do** anything!" He shouted.

"_**Really Freddie?! **_Then why does Sam have her _I-don't-want-to-talk-to-anyone_ look!"

"Well I didn't mean to get her upset!"

"Well you did!" Carly yelled. "Now go in there & apologize!"

"I already tried!" He yelled back, exasperated.

"Well, try harder!"

"I—I don't think she'll accept it either way." He muttered as he focused on the beige plastered walls of their condominium.

"Oh God, Freddie. What did you say?" Carly asked uneasily.

"I didn't think she'd get so mad." He replied guiltily. "I was just… I don't know… being a total douche-bag…"

Carlie's eyes softened at the boy's honest show of remorse.

"Look. Whatever you said in there… in can't be _**that**_ bad. Just tell her how much you're sorry & she'll forgive you."

Freddie cocked a dubious brow at her statement & Carly just rolled her eyes.

"C'mon." She said supportively as she grabbed him by the hand & led him back to where Sam sat. The blonde still looked absolutely pissed & Freddie's resolve suddenly hit at an all time low. He looked at Carly for reassurance & she gave him a small push forward—silently prodding him to swallow his pride & fix whatever he had broken.

"Ummm… Sam." He started uncomfortably. "I'm really sorry. I was being a complete idiot. I… I really do care about you & I thought I was protecting you but... I guess I just ended up being a judgmental jerk…"

Sam's angry exterior hadn't softened at all after his confession & it made Freddie feel extremely uneasy. Carly quickly took notice & cleared her throat—as though the act alone would dispel the room of all the tension. When no one moved an inch or even seemed to notice, she decided that she had to become a much more aggressive mediator.

"Sam." Carly spoke. "I don't know what Freddie said to you, but I _**do**_ know that he's extremely sorry." Her words didn't seem to reach her aggravated friend as Sam's gaze never strayed away from the wooden table-top. The ongoing silence was making her queasy. Carly could stand angry-violent Sam, foul-mouthed bully Sam & even crass-insensitive Sam, but she couldn't stand this quite-aloof Sam. There was just something about it that felt completely wrong.

"Sam…" Carly spoke again, in a much softer tone. "We all just became friends again. I can't bear not having you around. Us three… we're the total chiz. We're like the three musketeers except that we aren't really fighting for anything… and well, we're not all men. Or know fencing, well except for Freddie—but apart from that we're like them—not the chocolate bar, mind you—the one from English lit class with Ms. Bohlen—I dunno if you were absent then but we—"

"I get it." Sam interjected, trying her best not to smile. For it turns out that a mumbling-nervous Carly is a very adorable Carly & Sam would like nothing more than to pepper her face with kisses. But seeing as how that could potentially be social suicide, the blonde vixen opted for a full toothed smile—safe, but still appreciative.

"And I know about the three musketeers, ya' know. I wasn't born yesterday." Sam quipped in mock offense as she took a bite off her orange.

"Sorry. I just went into a total spiel." The brunette smiled, obviously embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it." Sam shrugged. "It was kinda cute."

Carly blushed at the compliment. _'I'm cute.' _She couldn't help but think to herself as Sam gazed at her. _'Sometimes I forget how blue her eyes are…' _Carly thought inwardly as the said girl lifted a brow.

"What's that goofy look for?" Sam asked nonchalantly as she noted Freddie fidgeting around in her peripheral vision.

"Wha--?" Carly began, unsure what just happened. Luckily for her, Sam focused her attention on the awkwardly twitching boy by the counter.

"The hell are you still worried about, Benson? We're fine." She stated a-matter-a-factly.

"Thank God…" Freddie sighed in genuine relief as he situated himself next to her. "I really didn't mean to come off as a jerk." He murmured. "I just worry about the company you keep. I don't want you getting in anymore trouble that you already do."

"Yeah, yeah." Sam waved off. "Whatever."

She looked at the boy behind her bangs & smiled. "Never really knew you cared so much."

It was Freddie's turn to blush as he muttered a weak rebuttal. **"N-no I don't!"** Even Carly had to laugh at his feeble attempt of indifference. The guy was sensitive & everyone knew it—Freddie Benson was that quote-unquote "nice guy". The only difference he had with the common stereo-type was that he was a great athlete & was pretty good-looking to boot. _'Maybe he isn't the "nice guy".' _Carly thought. _'Maybe he's "the Catch".'_ And any girl out there knows that there's a huge difference between the two.

"Wait." Carly backtracked, suddenly conscious of her surroundings. "Who have you been hanging out with Sam?"

"Ummm…" Sam muttered as she scrambled her brain for answers. "Just some new friends I've made. Their pretty cool."

"Do I know them?" Carly asked giddily. It wasn't common for Sam to make good friends off the group. "Do they go to our school?"

"Ummmm…" Sam stalled as she took a quick glance at Freddie, who seemed to be keeping himself out of the conversation. "I dunno if you know them. And yeah they go to our school…"

"Really?!" The brunette jumped in excitement. "Maybe we could hang out together some time."

"Ahhh… I don't know if that would be such a good idea…" Sam replied. _'Oh crap, Oh crap, Oh crap! I'll die if Carly meets Alex. He's gonna out me all over the place!'_

"Why not?" Carly pouted. "I can be hip." She argued as she bobbed her head to some inaudible melody.

"Yeah… I'll think about it." Sam muttered as she gave her best friend a reassuring smile.

"Okay… but I'm not letting this go." The other girl replied as she made her way towards the living room. "You **have** to introduce me sometime."

"I know" Sam gulped.

'_That's what I'm afraid of…'_

_

* * *

  
_

"Go! Go! Go!" The group cheered as Tweet made his way to his fifth shot of tequila. "Ughh that's nasty." He mumbled as he licked the salt off Edgar's abs before taking a bite of lime. "You're up Sash" He mumbled nonchalantly as he passed the bottle to his bubbly petite friend.

"I love this stuff." She commented as she took her shot straight off the bottle. "Come here cabana boy!" She commanded as she pulled Edgar closer. She drizzled salt over his arm & licked, grabbing a piece of lime along the way. A pre-alcohol party was essential to any soon to be club night. God knows they wouldn't be able to purchase any drinks once inside & if they were of legal age to, the prices would've warded them off anyways. Nightclubs sell their booze as much as hotels sell their bottled water. They've become expensive commodities than mere beverages—well, poisonous beverages, anyways.

With that thought in mind, it almost seems as though the crew had gotten shitfaced hammered out of a strange sense of practicality. Add that reason with the amount of fun things will be completely wasted and what you have is a bunch of drunken teenagers. No beating around the bush about it. Alex & his droogs were on their way to a head-splitting hangover. But the night is young & that's for tomorrow. So why the fuck worry?

"Oi, what spot are we hitting up?" Cohen yelled at Alex, who was busy behind the counter making triple-shot espressos for the festivities to come.

"Ummm… What is it, Friday?" He replied, with a lost expression.

"We just got off school a few hours ago & talked about the **'weekend'**. Dude c'mon." Edgar interjected with a look of amusement.

"Well… I guess we should hit up Rage." Alex decided as he licked the remaining coffee off his teaspoon. _'Ugh. Bitter…" _

"Game-boi night?" Sasha bounced in her booth. "I'm down!"

"Ick. Hell no, that's like, Asian night." Tweet commented dryly while the others shared knowing glances.

"Pffft… you're just afraid you'll run into your exes!" Sasha boomed in giggles while the rest shared a stifled laugh.

"**Am not!"** He yells, as he smooths out the wrinkles off his yellow dress. Leopard was the choice of the night.

"Oh you are so a liar!" She countered. "What was his name? Wasn't it "Angel" the Malaysian go-go dancer?"

"Oooooohh! No…" Cohen joined in with a smile. "I think he's worried about the other one. Ummm, I think his name was James, the Filipino med student."

"Oh c'mon guys." Edgar cut in. "No need to be rude—"

"Thank you Eddie." Tweet replied as he gave the two giggling girls a dirty look.

"Everyone knows he's worried about "Baye" that Korean ulzzang boy." Edgar laughed mischievously. "Who could blame you though? He was cute."

"Oh. Haha. You were in it all along. How clever." Tweet muttered sarcastically.

"It's not our fault you have an Asian fetish, Tweet." Alex countered with a smile as he delivered everyone's shots of caffeine.

"No I don't." The feminine boy huffed with crossed arms. "I just think their charming, is all."

"Yeah right. I bet you masturbate to Jackie Chan." Cohen piped in, earning howls of laughter from her friends.

"Daaaaaammmnnn Tweet..." Alex hissed. "You need some water with that burn?"

The boy in question just took it in stride and smiled. "I have to admit, that was pretty good. But jokes aside, we gotta get there before its jam packed." The gang of teens diverted their eyes to the café's spectral wall clock & like a chorus of drunks, grunted in unison. "We have an hour to fool around, and then we go." Alex decided, looking at his friends for any signs of disapproval. When he received none, he began to tidy up shop.

"Wait." Sasha's muttered after seconds of silence, getting the group's full attention. "What's Sammy doing?"

Alex's eyes widened at her remark. "Oh yeah, Sam can come with us! Edgar, hand me my phone! This night is gonna be fucking epic!"

* * *

"Hey…" Carly moaned. She & Sam were alone in her room and they'd been watching TV for the past hour in complete silence. The icy demeanor that Sam had suddenly acquired was really getting to her. A month ago she would never have described Sam as cold, collected or distant. The girl had always either been rowdy, rambunctious or hot-headed**. **But this new Sam was far from that. _'She's quiet, polite & is definitely somewhere else.'_

"Hey…" Carly moaned again—rubbing her sock covered foot against Sam's. "I'm trying to get your attention."

'_Oh believe me. You have my __**full**__ attention.'_ Sam thought as she felt the brunette's toes rub against her heel. The hour they've spent alone together had been **absolute** **torture** & Sam was about ready to explode. Every little thing Carly did made her feel things she couldn't even begin to handle. It felt like someone had flipped a switch on her senses & it amplified every sensation she could possibly go through.

"**Hey**." Carly said louder this time, as she turned Sam's head towards her. It was then, beneath the screen's flickering light that Carly saw the full damage James had done to the blonde. There was a deep scar on her brow that must've needed at least seven stiches & a bluish discoloration on her cheek that marked the beginnings of a fist.

"What?" Sam questioned in a tone she hoped sounded like annoyance because she could hardly breathe at the moment. Her entire world came to a stop as she locked eyes with the girl who made all those cheesy love-songs make sense.

"I could never ask for anyone better than you." Carly started softly, as she traced Sam's cut with her finger. "You risked your life for me…"

Sam gulped as the other girl came close. _**Really close**_**. **So close that she could feel the heat from her skin & the breath from her lips. The brunette buried herself against Sam's neck & the blonde could've sworn that she felt her heart leave her chest as she felt Carly's lips against her ear.

"I am so lucky—" She whispered.

'_**Holy shit.**__ This is it…' _

"—to have a friend as special as you…"

"_**Oh**__..."_

"Right." Sam muttered, as her expectations quickly burned to the ground. "Thanks..."

"I really missed you Sam. I wish you'd tell me what's been happening with you." Carly whispered sleepily. "You're my **best** friend."

"Yeah…" Sam mumbled as she stared blankly at the wall. "Of course I am…I mean, what else would I be?"

"Exactly." Carly murmured as she snuggled deeper into Sam. "We're besties forever."

"Of course we are…"

With Sam's last words of reassurance the young brunette fell asleep with her head against her friend's shoulder—ever-so safe, ever-so content—amidst the person she'd known most her life. Unbeknownst to the turmoil—the tempest—that was destroying every piece of the girl she knew.

'_Best friends huh?' _Sam thought as her eyes misted over. _'It should be a good thing… __**a good thing**__…but why the fuck does it hurt so much?'_

She was there. Right there, next to the girl she wanted to be with but everything was wrong—just completely wrong. _'She told me how special I am… so why do I feel like my heart just got ripped apart? It feels like I'm suffocating inside myself. I don't get it…'_

'_How can loving someone be so painful?'_

Sam's internal reverie was cut short by a vibration in her jean pocket. She looked at her sleeping friend & carefully wiggled out of her grasp as fished out her cellphone. It was around eleven o'clock and she knew her mom was on a date & Freddie was in some cousin's bar mitzvah. So it wasn't that big a surprise that the text she received came from no one else but Alex.

What intrigued Sam about the message was that it had only asked one question.

_Wanna get fucked up?_

And as Sam stared at Carly's sleeping form, the answer became clearer & clearer.

_RE: FUCK YES_

_

* * *

  
_

The club was overflowing with people both young & old. Electro-infused beats ravaged its dark confines, while half-naked gogo-dancers swiveled their hips on the dance-floor's many podiums. It was hot in there. It may have been from all the alcohol or all the dancing, but everyone seemed to have been on fire. Men grinded heavily against one another while others stopped dancing all together & just started making out.

It was chaotic, dirty & fun. Even the people in the patio were squished like sardines but no one cared enough to leave. It was Friday night & everyone was there to party their woes away. Tweet was on stage doing a Lady Gaga impersonation. Edgar was drunk and shuffling to the music. Cohen was grinding with an aggressive (which was a strange sight, to say the least) and Sasha was talking up a BBW into a one-night stand. Alex though, remained by Sam's side as they tried to ride out their drunkenness together. The two idiots had remained in the jeep drinking shot after shot for the last hour, trying to catch up to everyone's level of intoxication, only to wildly overshoot their goal.

"Holy crap… ho—how wasted are we?" Sam slurred as she watched her friends do things they would possibly regret.

"Ummm.. I dunno…" The boy replied as he tipped over. "That second bottle of Jack must've done it…"

"Fuck…" She muttered as she tried to regain her footing. "Today I—I made a total ass of myself."

"What?" He yelled as the music seemed to get louder.

"I said—wait. You know what?" Sam stopped as she grabbed his hand and led him to the patio—pushing away a current of people to get to her destination. Once outside, she was greeted by a cool gust of air & an interchanging pack of people interested in actual conversation.

"Here. It's—we can hear each other better."

"Ah, okay." Alex nodded as he wedged himself out of a throng of party-goers.

"I totally… I just expected too much you know?" She muttered as Alex lit up a cigarette.

"Dude, I know exactly what you mean!" He replied as he took a hit off the cancer stick.

"I mean, geez man. I—I'm so freaking whipped!" She muttered as she grabbed the cig off his hand & inhaled.

"Oh sweetie…" He started before getting tapped on the shoulder.

"Umm… sorry but can I bum a cig off you guys?" A girl interjected—catching both the drunken teens' attention. She was in her twenties, about 5'6 with long brown hair styled into a wild poof. She was dressed in a tight fitting sequence top that dipped at the front—revealing a good deal of boobage for anyone rude enough to stare. She was **hot**, plain & simple. But what really piqued Sam's interest was how much she looked like Carly. Even Alex took notice as he gave the girl a double-take.

"Holy Xerox machine…" He muttered with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"What?" The clone questioned, giving him a very strange look.

"I mean. Yes—sure. You can have a cig." He backtracked awkwardly as he gave her a stogie—mouthing Sam a silent _'Oh my God' _as he lit it for her.

'_Oh my God, indeed...' _Sam thought as she figuratively picked her jaw off the floor. _'If it wasn't for the boobs & the voice, I would've guessed it was Carly.'_

"Thanks." The mystery girl replied. "I don't know that many people here."

"Oh you don't, do you?" Alex questioned mischievously as he nudged Sam's side.

"Yeah. I'm just visiting for the weekend."

"**No way."** He commented playfully, as he gave his friend an impish smile. "You mean you're just in Seattle for **two** days?"

"Yeah. I actually just flew in for my cousin's wedding. But while I'm here, I might as well have fun."

"Well, that's interesting..." Alex replied. "Oh, but where are my manners?" He diverted coyly.

"I'm Alex & this is my friend _**Sam**_."

"Oh right, we don't know each other's names yet!" She laughed. "I'm Kirsten. Nice to meet you guys."

"Nice to meet you too!" He muttered as he flung his arm around Sam's shoulder.

"Your friend's not the talkative type is she?" Kirsten joked as the blonde's eyes met hers. "That's really cute."

"It is, isn't it?" Alex agreed, while Sam tried her best not to look so intoxicated. "She's been in a bit of a funk lately…"

"**Oh**?"

"Yeah. Her girlfriend just cheated on her with our professor."

"Oh my God!" Kirsten remarked while Sam looked at Alex questioningly.

"_What are you talking about?" _She had muttered under her breath, too wasted to know what was going on.

"_You'll thank me later_." He whispered with a smile as he watched the older girl envelop Sam in an embrace.

"I'm sooo sorry." She murmurs as she lets her go. "That must suck."

"Uhh… yeah. It does… I guess…" Sam replied awkwardly.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Kirsten offered while Alex slowly sneaked away like some crazy lesbian hook-up ninja.

"_You're welcome" _He had mouthed before he disappeared, leaving a very drunk & vulnerable baby dyke behind.

"Ummm… I'm fine." Sam began. "It's… I'll get over it…"

"You sure you don't need any help?" The older woman started. "You know. _Getting over it?"_

"No. I'll be—wait… what?" the blonde asked, now completely dumbfounded. "How could you help?"

The Carly look-a-like just raised a brow & laughed. "You really are cute…"

"Di—did I miss something?" Sam asked in genuine confusion—the alcohol she ingested was making it very hard to think. One moment Alex was giving the carbon copy a cigarette, then talking about some professor they didn't have & then everything just went by like a dizzy blur.

"You're new to scene, aren't you?" The older woman asked under her breath.

"Umm… well… yeah." Sam gulped. There was something about the woman that intimidated her—a sexual prowess—that showed with every movement she made. Sam felt like a new born infant next to the brunette & it suddenly occurred to her that this girl was **nothing** like Carly. She might have looked like her, but Kirsten was an entirely different woman. A much more... **experienced** one.

"Then I guess you wouldn't even pick up on subtle flirting." She muttered as she fished out a pack of Marlboro Reds. She placed a cigarette on her lips & lit, only puzzling Sam all the more.

"You have cigarettes." The blonde muttered, confused. "Wait. You have cigarettes?"

Kirsten smiled & took drag. "Yeah, I do."

"Ah. Then… why'd you ask for one?"

"The same reason I said I was staying here for the weekend."

"Huh?" Sam muttered, completely bewildered. "Your cousin's wedding right?"

The brunette couldn't help but giggle. "I live here."

"Here?"

"Seattle."

"But—I thought you said—"

"I lied." Kirsten said a matter-a-factly

"What? Why?" the blonde asked, utterly lost in the arts of flirtation.

"I've been eyeing you all night." She said casually—as though it were the most normal of statements.

"Oh…" Sam reacted, finally understating what was going on. _'Right… wait… __**Oh…**__' _"You've been watching me." She muttered to herself, more than anyone else—finally piecing out the puzzle.

"You don't pay attention to your surroundings though…" Kirsten sighed. "Whoever she is, she must've done a number on you."

Sam's eyes widened at her words. "Is—is it that obvious?"

The brunette just laughed. "Yeah, it is."

"Shit…" Sam cursed under her breath.

"It's really none of my business." The older woman continued. "But I think she's an idiot."

"Well, she's not." The blonde countered icily._ 'No one talks shit about Carly.'_

"I... I didn't mean to offend you." Kirsten replied, slightly taken aback.

Sam looked at her & sighed. "Sorry… I didn't mean to—"

"—it's fine." The woman interjected with a small smile playing at her lips. "It's just like me to go for the most unavailable girl in the room."

The admission had a tinge of sadness to it that Sam couldn't help but pick up on and it was then that she realized that she wasn't alone in this entangled mess of love, fucks & heart-ache. She scanned the clubs open doors & sighed. People were having fun in there but partying seemed to be the last thing she wanted to do right now. She turned her attention to Kirsten who had a solemn look on her face as she played with the edges of her cigarette. She looked so out of place in a club filled with such loud & vibrant people. It almost seemed wrong for her to be standing there, ever-so melancholic, amidst a sea of happy drunkards.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Sam suggested out of the blue, oblivious to the weight of her statement. "Like get coffee or something?"

"Huh?" Kirsten replied, shocked at the sudden back-bone the young girl had gained in the last five seconds.

"I said do you wanna get a coffee or something?" Sam repeated nonchalantly. "I need something to sober up & I wouldn't mind the company."

"Is this like a pity date?" The brunette asked with a smile.

"No." Sam replied seriously. "I wouldn't do that. Well, not to a pretty girl anyways."

The statement garnered a genuine laugh from the older woman. "You're a lot smoother than you think you are."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked in confusion.

"That's exactly what I mean." Kirsten laughed.

"I don't get it."

"In time, you will." She replied cryptically. "Anyways, I don't think you even know what you're asking for."

"I'm asking for coffee."

"That's just it." The brunette smirked. "What if I wanted more than that?"

"More than coffee?" Sam asked. "Like a Biscotti or something?"

The statement made Kirsten laugh all the more.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing." The woman said after she finished chuckling. "You're just too cute drunk."

"Oh… okay…" Sam muttered as she hid a small blush.

"Listen." The other girl started, getting the blonde's attention. "If you still want coffee when you're sober, call me." She smiled as she took a pen from her pocket to write her number on Sam's arm.

"Only if you decide you want to, that is." The woman continued.

"Okay…" Sam replied.

"Well then." Kirsten started as she gave the blonde a peck on the cheek. "I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, of course." The younger girl muttered as she watched the woman fade away into the club's dark interior. _'Did I just get my first digits?'_ Sam thought as she positioned her arm under one of the patio's metal lamp posts. _'Yup. That's a phone number all right…'_

"I see the plan worked eh?" Alex smiled as he flung his arm around the startled blonde's shoulder.

"Where the fuck did you come from?!" Sam yelled, making the boy grin all the more.

"I came from the shadows young grasshopper, the shadows!" He bellowed in mock-dramatic fashion, earning a nudge from his friend for his embarrassing antics.

"Whatever. Just don't do it again." She muttered.

"Do what?" He grinned. "Sneak up on you? Or just totally hook you up?"

"Both!" She blushed while the boy shook with fits of laughter.

"**Oh come on!** Am I not the best wingman ever?!" He said as he pumped his fist in the air.

"No, you aren't." She replied monotonously.

"What? Whhhhyyy?" He whined. "I just got you possibly laid!"

"Yeah. That's just it." She started with an annoyed expression. "I didn't ask you to."

"Ah, but you wanted to!" He countered.

"Well, yeah bu—"

"See! You just said so yourself!"

"Let me finish." Sam groaned. "It's not that I don't wanna, you know, screw anyone…"

"Okay…" He nodded, not really following.

"It's just that… I—I really want my first to be with Carly & not anyone else, no matter how much they do look like her."

"Oh, okay. That makes total sense." Alex garbled, as he tried to keep his balance against a metal rail. "The first is always special."

"Yeah." Sam mumbled, unsure if he fully understood her admission.

"I mean, I can still remember my first." He started as he stared off into space with a goofy look in his eyes. "Ahhhh, Raul. He was nice…"

"I'm sure he was." She muttered as she looked around, inwardly hoping that Alex was too drunk to register anything she had said. But the sudden widening of his eyes told her different. "My first…" He muttered under his breath. "He was my first… & Carly would be yours…"

'_Shit…'_ Sam cursed as the boy pieced things out.

"Oh my God! **You're a delicate flower!**" He bellowed while Sam tried to shut his mouth.

"Keep it down!" She yelled when they garnered a few looks from club goers.

"Sorry…" He murmured with a smile. "I think that's really cute though. You know, waiting for her…"

"Yeah, I'm sure she thinks the same." Sam muttered dryly while Alex gave her a comforting squeeze.

"Hmmmnnn… I guess this means you won't be giving that girl a call…" He says after a few seconds of silence.

"I want to, I do." She sighed. "But it just wouldn't feel right."

"Because she's not Carly right?" He asked.

"Yeah. Pretty much." She answered without a second's hesitation.

"Huh…" Alex muttered as a smile grew on his face. "I didn't know you were such a softie."

"I—Im not!" Sam blushed while the boy let out a guttural laugh.

"Come on ya marshmallow, let's go back to the jeep & drink till' we pass out!"

"Ugh. That sounds like a terrible idea." She grunted.

"Well, it's either that or we start dancing." He replied with a raised brow.

Sam looked at the club's doors & sighed.

"All right, let's get wasted."

"Sweet!" Alex chimed as he grabbed her hand.

_'I just hope I don't regret any of this tomorrow...'_

* * *

_**A/N: **I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter. When I was writing it I thought it was amazing, but then again I was also really stoned (Thank you California!). Woot Woot! Legalized baby! And... well... apart from that I don't have much to say. Besides sorry again for the year-long hiatus. I'll have the next one done soon, i promise. And if you frequent the L.A. club scene then you also know that Rage exists & so does Game-boi night. I know that I should probably research 18+ gay clubs around Seattle but it's sounds like too much work so I won't even bother. :) _

_Extra: Eric Northman is a character in HBO's "True Blood" (& the books). I love the series cause it portrays '**real**' vampires & not the shiny-watches-you-while-you-sleep kind. (Oh snap!) BBW is an acronym for Big Beautiful Woman. And well, i guess that's about it. Oh & I made drunk Sam clueless because I think she's cute that way. 0,0  
_


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